One Life - Boyce Avenue
You lie awake while the world’s asleep
You made mistakes and you’re in too deep
But now’s the time
Alarm goes off but you feel too weak
Your soul’s too heavy for your feet
But now’s the time
Open your eyes
And know you’re free to come alive
You gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
Look to the sky
Don’t ever let it pass you by
You’ve gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
You’ve lost your faith in a life that’s cursed
You’ve cried so hard inside it hurts
But now’s the time
Outside the sun is coming up
Inside you think you’ve given up
But now’s the time
Open your eyes
And know you’re free to come alive
You gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
Look to the sky
Don’t ever let it pass you by
You’ve gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
One life
It’s time to stand up and fight
It’s time for making it right
We only get one life
One life
One life
And when it feels like a lie
I’ll be your reason to shine
We only get one life
Open your eyes and know you’re free to come alive
You gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
Look to the sky
Don’t ever let it pass you by
You’ve gotta live it while you can
We only get one life
One life
It’s time to stand up and fight
It’s time for making it right
We only get one life
One life
One life
And when it feels like a lie
I’ll be your reason shine
We only get one life
One life
iPhone 5S Gold finally MINE
I bought new iPhone 5S gold today and sold my iphone 4.
The price is RM 2599 for 16GB. It is expensive but since my sister bought it for me and I do not spend a penny for my new iPhone, so I have nothing to complain of. Thank you so much sis! Love you.
I sold my iPhone 4 for RM200 and I have a lottttttt to complain! Can you imagine, I bought that phone for more than RM 2000 (or less, I could not remember) and sold it for RM 200. Pretty bad investment I think, if we look at the number. But, that phone had done a good job in service, i like it so much thus I hope the same for its younger generation.
I have not yet explore the 5S so I cannot write the review now, maybe tomorrow.
If you from Kuantan, Pahang, you can buy it at Capital Mall (or better known as east coast mall, ECM). Go to the highest level, near the cinema, you can find many phone and gadget stores. At first, I ask the i people lifestyle (at level 2) that sell solely apple product but they are out of stock. So I look for 5S at ordinary phone store. The price is fix for every store but differ in term of gifts or discount. Maybe you can get a good offer out of your sweet talk.
Above picture is obviously not my iPhone 5S, but I wish its mine. Very pretty and luxury.
The price is RM 2599 for 16GB. It is expensive but since my sister bought it for me and I do not spend a penny for my new iPhone, so I have nothing to complain of. Thank you so much sis! Love you.
I sold my iPhone 4 for RM200 and I have a lottttttt to complain! Can you imagine, I bought that phone for more than RM 2000 (or less, I could not remember) and sold it for RM 200. Pretty bad investment I think, if we look at the number. But, that phone had done a good job in service, i like it so much thus I hope the same for its younger generation.
I have not yet explore the 5S so I cannot write the review now, maybe tomorrow.
If you from Kuantan, Pahang, you can buy it at Capital Mall (or better known as east coast mall, ECM). Go to the highest level, near the cinema, you can find many phone and gadget stores. At first, I ask the i people lifestyle (at level 2) that sell solely apple product but they are out of stock. So I look for 5S at ordinary phone store. The price is fix for every store but differ in term of gifts or discount. Maybe you can get a good offer out of your sweet talk.
 | ||
| iPhone 5S gold Swarovski. |
Color Test
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Color test is invented by psychologist, Dr Max Luscher in Basel,Switzerland. Based on the long-term research by color psychologists, they found that certain colors has been identified to cause an emotional response in people. By using the colors, we can determine how people feel and their current's emotional state. Dr. Luscher believed that personality traits could be identified based on one's choice of color.
The test is simple. All you have to do is to place 8 different colors in order of preferences.
Every colors have it meaning:
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpu
The test is simple. All you have to do is to place 8 different colors in order of preferences.
Every colors have it meaning:
Violet represents identification, whether unrealistic, wishful fulfillment, charm and enchantment
Blue represents depth of feeling - passive, concentric, tranquility, calm, tenderness
Green represents elasticity of will - passive, concentric, defensive, persistence, self-esteem, pride nad control.
Red represents force of will -excentric, active aggresive, competitive, action, desire, excitement and sexuality.
Yellow represents spontaneity - excentric, active, projective, aspiring, expectancy or exhilaration.
Brown represents body condition
Black represents nothingness, renunciation, surrender or relinquishment.
Gray represents non-involvement and concealment.
I read how they analyst emotional condition based on these colors and its order but having a hard time to understand it. If you want a further understanding, you can visit http://www.sewanee.edu/chem/Chem&Art/Detail_Pages/ColorProjects_2003/Nennstiel/
I took a five minute color test at www.colorquiz.com. When I read the result, I laughed at the similarity of the result to my emotional condition. It is really close to what I feel. I even utter some curse words, feel like someone read and interpret my heart. Its brilliant, really.
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."
Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."
Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy.""Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy.""Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
Of course, other psychologist have a doubt in this test, it is not 100% accurate, Every personality or psychological test has a loophole. Human are hard to describe after all. However, the result that I have quite similar to my INTJ profile as though the color test read my heart while MBTI read my mind and overall personality.
I recommend this test for anyone that wish to know their emotion better. But, keep your mind open to many possibilities.
P/S: It is better for you not to read or show the result to other people if you dont like them peer into your heart.
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpu
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."
Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."
Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpufYour Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."
Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."
Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
Your Existing Situation
"Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met."
Your Stress Sources
"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."
Your Restrained Characteristics
"His desire to avoid open conflict and tension forces her to put her desires on hold, even though she is feeling restrained and uneasy."
"Emotionally withdrawn, feels forced to make compromises which makes emotional attachments difficult."
Current situations have left her feeling overwhelmed and tormented. Needs to avoid further activity or demands and concentrate on relaxing and becoming emotionally sound.
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
"Insists her hopes and ideas are realistic and achievable, but needs encouragement and support. her self-centeredness can cause her to take things too personally."
Your Desired Objective
"Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and is constantly trying to prove that to herself and others. Believes she is better than any weakness. As a result of her beliefs, she comes across as harsh or severe to those around him, with an overbearing and arrogant attitude."
Your Actual Problem
"Needs to be viewed and respected as an outstanding individual, in order to build her self-esteem and self-worth. Resists any type of weakness and sets high standards for himself."
- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,7,1,4,5,3,0,6,2,2,7,1,4,5,0,3,6,6&p=full#sthash.JEgoRuaS.dpuf
Photo of the day
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Its been quiet a while since I last do photo editing, and as far as I remember, I have not posted any edited photo of me. Well, I'm not photogenic and usually it comes out bad, hate it. However, my trip to Fraser Hill last few months with my friends got me few good pictures of me (I think so).
Picture below is me,well, as you can see, I'm skinny. That is all I can say about my figure,sadly. The quote I took from www.goodreads.com, one of my favorite website that feature many good quotes. For me, quotes are like coffee, needed everyday.
The quotes below also taken from goodreads website, quoted from John Lennon. If I'm going to count all my friends and foes, I bet I still young. I spent a lot of my times with books, television, laptop, iphone so I hardly make friends. If I'm going to count my life based on my smiles, I think I have a wonderful life, not because of the number of smiles or tears, but how much it meant to me to smile after all my hardship, after all the tears that fall on my chubby cheeks. Nonetheless, I rarely cry nowadays, it cause headache, hate it.
Below is a picture of my friends that join me in a trip to Bukit Fraser, Fraser's Hill. I dont know who Margaret Lee Runbeck is but I totally agree with her on this one. A true friend is someone who you can spent your time together without any single words spoken, without any need to make conversation. Her or his presence is enough to make you at peace. No words, just presence. And this reminds me of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
Before I end my post, let me share another quote;
“People spot a big black lens, and they worry about what they're doing, or how their hair looks. Nobody see the person holding the camera.”
― Erica O'Rourke, Torn
Picture below is me,well, as you can see, I'm skinny. That is all I can say about my figure,sadly. The quote I took from www.goodreads.com, one of my favorite website that feature many good quotes. For me, quotes are like coffee, needed everyday.
 |
| Knowing others is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom - Lao Tzu |
The quotes below also taken from goodreads website, quoted from John Lennon. If I'm going to count all my friends and foes, I bet I still young. I spent a lot of my times with books, television, laptop, iphone so I hardly make friends. If I'm going to count my life based on my smiles, I think I have a wonderful life, not because of the number of smiles or tears, but how much it meant to me to smile after all my hardship, after all the tears that fall on my chubby cheeks. Nonetheless, I rarely cry nowadays, it cause headache, hate it.
Below is a picture of my friends that join me in a trip to Bukit Fraser, Fraser's Hill. I dont know who Margaret Lee Runbeck is but I totally agree with her on this one. A true friend is someone who you can spent your time together without any single words spoken, without any need to make conversation. Her or his presence is enough to make you at peace. No words, just presence. And this reminds me of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
 |
| Quote by Margaret Lee Runbeck. |
“People spot a big black lens, and they worry about what they're doing, or how their hair looks. Nobody see the person holding the camera.”
― Erica O'Rourke, Torn
PAIN
Sunday, December 22, 2013
I am not an INTJ before, I was an ISTP but something happen in my life. Something that change my view of life and bring the worst out of me. It is a story of friendship in which entangled with string of love and loyalty. It is a story of making choice and letting go.
Few years back, I studied in Melbourne, miles away from my family in Malaysia thus I found comfort from a solitude and my close circle of friends. One of them,I can regard as my best friend. How shall I describe her?
She is totally different me. She full of colors, I am dull. She lively and happy go lucky. She creative and full of imagination. She is feminine and gentle. She diligent and caring. She is very touchy while I hate any skin ship. All an all, she different me and she annoyed me sometimes. Even so, we still be best friend.
Everything going well, until one day she found her love, her prince charming. A guy that once I admired and like. When I know that he likes her, my heart ache a little. Why would he likes someone that I can never be? Is that a reason why he not really into me before, because I'm not his type. My best friend, being such a good friend dare not to like him and return his love. As I watch on the edge, I realize that her happiness is indeed my happiness so I give her my bless. Besides, my love for him can never go beyond my love for her, my best friend.
Day after day, they were in deep in love. I as a third wheel before, unconsciously, running away. I am human after all, I do feel jealous thus to remedy my own heart ache, I stray away from them. And she took the same step. As she deep in love, I deep in trouble. My academic performance getting worse because I lose interest on the subject. Not only that, my solitude darkens and I lost control of reality, keep dwelling on my dreams. If only, she come to me at that time and accompany me in my world like she always do, maybe I can come back safely. Unfortunately, at that time, she had to choose between me or her lover. He needs her as much as I do. The weird part is, her lover and I share the same personality, ISTP and that explains why we both drawn to her like a magnet. She complete us in a way no others can.
Time past and thing between us is getting worse. Of course, we did confront each other. i told her how much I miss her and I need her to help me, but she cant guarantee me anything. She apologize and only that. I understand she already make a choice, her lover. I understand, I have to move on with my life, find other friends or love. I do have other friends, someone way better than her, that listen to my every story. But how can I compare all my friends, each and every one of them valuable to me in different way. And love is not easy to find, it is not on sale. She abandoned me, a fact that I have to live on.
Nevertheless, I try to move one. I make my decision to come home without a degree that I promised my family. It is a very tough decision. In that process, we had an argument, she wants me to tell my family the truth and seek for help. I refuse. I was scared at that time, everything that I had planned destroyed, every strength that I have gone and my future is all black. Thus I make a hasty decision, run away and try to make my own living without my family knowledge. Well, what she expects me to do, I was mentally unstable and she should help me not getting angry at me. Even so, when I wake up next morning, I realize she was right so I did what she told me. However, the strain between us that already in the verge of breaking finally broke down. We cant see each other face and whenever we met accidentally, we will face the other way with a very scary face. Like an enemy we had become.
After went back to Malaysia, I try to find a way in live again and I realize how much I have change. My caring self is no longer give a damn about people. All I care is myself and my academic. I do the personality test to see how much the event changes me, and the result shown me much. I did it twice in a week interval but the result is the same. Some of the trait in INTJ already in me before but not so obvious, maybe hide by my kindness.
Even after 2 years, I still can find a good ways to describe what really happen. But today, I admit that I'm not a victim and she is not the perpetrator, we just friend, very unlucky friend that somehow entangled with love and pain. I came clean with her year before and apologize for my childish behavior and thanks her for every moment that we spent together. She did the same thing. But, painfully, both of us make no effort on making up, I remove her from my Facebook friend list and she never update anything since. Or maybe she hide it. I don't care. I live my life the way I want to be. I be my true self and even though some of my friends hate me and be friend with me because of my intelligence but I could not care less.
Maybe some of you read it think I was in unhealthy relationship. I am not. I am straight. My relationship with her is a friendship that runs deeper than love. Will I have that kind of friendship again? No. Once is enough. Unless I found someone like Dr Watson to Sherlock or Merlin to Arthur. Maybe, my view of life will change again. But for now, I proud to be myself. Well the truth is I do hate myself. Its complicated.
To conclude, I would like to share some quotes I found in internet.
“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken." - C.S Lewis, the problem of pain
"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” - JK Rowling
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”- Oprah Winfrey
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
Few years back, I studied in Melbourne, miles away from my family in Malaysia thus I found comfort from a solitude and my close circle of friends. One of them,I can regard as my best friend. How shall I describe her?
She is totally different me. She full of colors, I am dull. She lively and happy go lucky. She creative and full of imagination. She is feminine and gentle. She diligent and caring. She is very touchy while I hate any skin ship. All an all, she different me and she annoyed me sometimes. Even so, we still be best friend.
Everything going well, until one day she found her love, her prince charming. A guy that once I admired and like. When I know that he likes her, my heart ache a little. Why would he likes someone that I can never be? Is that a reason why he not really into me before, because I'm not his type. My best friend, being such a good friend dare not to like him and return his love. As I watch on the edge, I realize that her happiness is indeed my happiness so I give her my bless. Besides, my love for him can never go beyond my love for her, my best friend.
Day after day, they were in deep in love. I as a third wheel before, unconsciously, running away. I am human after all, I do feel jealous thus to remedy my own heart ache, I stray away from them. And she took the same step. As she deep in love, I deep in trouble. My academic performance getting worse because I lose interest on the subject. Not only that, my solitude darkens and I lost control of reality, keep dwelling on my dreams. If only, she come to me at that time and accompany me in my world like she always do, maybe I can come back safely. Unfortunately, at that time, she had to choose between me or her lover. He needs her as much as I do. The weird part is, her lover and I share the same personality, ISTP and that explains why we both drawn to her like a magnet. She complete us in a way no others can.
Time past and thing between us is getting worse. Of course, we did confront each other. i told her how much I miss her and I need her to help me, but she cant guarantee me anything. She apologize and only that. I understand she already make a choice, her lover. I understand, I have to move on with my life, find other friends or love. I do have other friends, someone way better than her, that listen to my every story. But how can I compare all my friends, each and every one of them valuable to me in different way. And love is not easy to find, it is not on sale. She abandoned me, a fact that I have to live on.
Nevertheless, I try to move one. I make my decision to come home without a degree that I promised my family. It is a very tough decision. In that process, we had an argument, she wants me to tell my family the truth and seek for help. I refuse. I was scared at that time, everything that I had planned destroyed, every strength that I have gone and my future is all black. Thus I make a hasty decision, run away and try to make my own living without my family knowledge. Well, what she expects me to do, I was mentally unstable and she should help me not getting angry at me. Even so, when I wake up next morning, I realize she was right so I did what she told me. However, the strain between us that already in the verge of breaking finally broke down. We cant see each other face and whenever we met accidentally, we will face the other way with a very scary face. Like an enemy we had become.
After went back to Malaysia, I try to find a way in live again and I realize how much I have change. My caring self is no longer give a damn about people. All I care is myself and my academic. I do the personality test to see how much the event changes me, and the result shown me much. I did it twice in a week interval but the result is the same. Some of the trait in INTJ already in me before but not so obvious, maybe hide by my kindness.
Even after 2 years, I still can find a good ways to describe what really happen. But today, I admit that I'm not a victim and she is not the perpetrator, we just friend, very unlucky friend that somehow entangled with love and pain. I came clean with her year before and apologize for my childish behavior and thanks her for every moment that we spent together. She did the same thing. But, painfully, both of us make no effort on making up, I remove her from my Facebook friend list and she never update anything since. Or maybe she hide it. I don't care. I live my life the way I want to be. I be my true self and even though some of my friends hate me and be friend with me because of my intelligence but I could not care less.
Maybe some of you read it think I was in unhealthy relationship. I am not. I am straight. My relationship with her is a friendship that runs deeper than love. Will I have that kind of friendship again? No. Once is enough. Unless I found someone like Dr Watson to Sherlock or Merlin to Arthur. Maybe, my view of life will change again. But for now, I proud to be myself. Well the truth is I do hate myself. Its complicated.
To conclude, I would like to share some quotes I found in internet.
“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken." - C.S Lewis, the problem of pain
"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” - JK Rowling
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”- Oprah Winfrey
“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." - Rose Kennedy
Feeling
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Today, everything seems wrong even though nothing actually goes wrong. I dont know what make me feel so bad today. All I did is sleeping and dreaming as thats the only way i can forget uneasiness in my heart. Why?
Its all start when my friends ask me to teach them microeconomics and I said yes. So they wait for me today to teach them. but I said nothing and do nothing. Why? and now i feel really bad.
To tell the truth, i'm afraid. I always afraid to help someone. I afraid they will get close to me then depend on me and seeing me as a good person. I am not!
The past had teach me that if you get close to people, you will get hurt, and one day they will leave you. All my previous best friend had left me or i had left them in some cases. For some reason, the wall and boundaries that I had created had crushed many hearts. And all that left is me. All alone
When I was 3 years old, I really close to my dad (on my mom account) but then he died. Ever since, my mom busy with works and other siblings especially my baby sister. I rarely got out and always by my quiet self. I indulge in books and movies and dramas thus lost my touch with the real world. I live in imagination. At that time, I always imagine that my dad not actually dead but have to fake his dead because he is in secret mission. Such a childish thought. But life is not a movie. life is real. People will be gone someday either they want it or not. Thats the fact.
It is no use to dwell on something that I dont even know. Future can never be predicted. All I have to do is to live in the moment.
This is me. And this is my roller coaster emotion. This is my life. This is my world. Maybe Sherlock's brother was right, caring is not an advantage. I feel bad today when I start to care about others feeling thus poisoning logical mind. And I have spent all my hours dwell in this feeling when I should study for my final exam.
Yosh! I have to study. Lets study. lets not rot our mind with this poisoning feeling. Yosh!
Its all start when my friends ask me to teach them microeconomics and I said yes. So they wait for me today to teach them. but I said nothing and do nothing. Why? and now i feel really bad.
To tell the truth, i'm afraid. I always afraid to help someone. I afraid they will get close to me then depend on me and seeing me as a good person. I am not!
The past had teach me that if you get close to people, you will get hurt, and one day they will leave you. All my previous best friend had left me or i had left them in some cases. For some reason, the wall and boundaries that I had created had crushed many hearts. And all that left is me. All alone
When I was 3 years old, I really close to my dad (on my mom account) but then he died. Ever since, my mom busy with works and other siblings especially my baby sister. I rarely got out and always by my quiet self. I indulge in books and movies and dramas thus lost my touch with the real world. I live in imagination. At that time, I always imagine that my dad not actually dead but have to fake his dead because he is in secret mission. Such a childish thought. But life is not a movie. life is real. People will be gone someday either they want it or not. Thats the fact.
It is no use to dwell on something that I dont even know. Future can never be predicted. All I have to do is to live in the moment.
This is me. And this is my roller coaster emotion. This is my life. This is my world. Maybe Sherlock's brother was right, caring is not an advantage. I feel bad today when I start to care about others feeling thus poisoning logical mind. And I have spent all my hours dwell in this feeling when I should study for my final exam.
Yosh! I have to study. Lets study. lets not rot our mind with this poisoning feeling. Yosh!
Bicara seorang lelaki
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Aku mendengar khabar,
hadir seorang lelaki,
yang punya kuasa
membuat semua lidah terkelu
terbuai dengan suaranya
Lalu aku pergi melihat dia,
berdiri teguh,
di tengah ramai.
Disaat semua mata memandang,
kerdil dirinya,
namun besar wibawa
menegakkan kata-kata
menyangkal semua keraguan.
Terpasuk aku pada petahnya,
pada pandangan mata menerobos sanubari
dalam kagum dan iri
kini aku mengerti
maksud kata
Tegas saat menyatakan kebenaran,
lembut saat menanyakan perkhabaran.
Aku melihat seorang lelaki
diamnya mencermin kesepian
sepi dalam pujian
sunyi dalam godaan
kerna ada
yang memuja tanpa melihat
yang menyinta tanpa menerima.
Dia hamba yang Maha Bijaksana
kupuji bukan memuja
kusuka bukan menyinta
sekadar menyingkap kekaguman
pada fasih bicara
seorang lelaki yang jarang kutemui.
hadir seorang lelaki,
yang punya kuasa
membuat semua lidah terkelu
terbuai dengan suaranya
Lalu aku pergi melihat dia,
berdiri teguh,
di tengah ramai.
Disaat semua mata memandang,
kerdil dirinya,
namun besar wibawa
menegakkan kata-kata
menyangkal semua keraguan.
Terpasuk aku pada petahnya,
pada pandangan mata menerobos sanubari
dalam kagum dan iri
kini aku mengerti
maksud kata
Tegas saat menyatakan kebenaran,
lembut saat menanyakan perkhabaran.
Aku melihat seorang lelaki
diamnya mencermin kesepian
sepi dalam pujian
sunyi dalam godaan
kerna ada
yang memuja tanpa melihat
yang menyinta tanpa menerima.
Dia hamba yang Maha Bijaksana
kupuji bukan memuja
kusuka bukan menyinta
sekadar menyingkap kekaguman
pada fasih bicara
seorang lelaki yang jarang kutemui.
Personality- being INTJ
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Have you done any personality test? Well, I did and based on the analysis from my answers, I am an INTJ. So what is it INTJ?
Basically, in psychology there are two main personality model being used widely, which is Big Five Personality Model and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
Big five personality model consist of five main category of personality trait; extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness to experience, and conscientiousness.
Meanwhile, The MBTI is a psychometric questionnaire designed based on "psychological types" book (published in 1921) by Carl Jung that stated that our personality can be divided to 4 principals of psychological function; intuitive, sensation, thinking and feeling. The questionnaire is mean to test our way of perceiving the world and making decisions.
I did my MBTI from http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp. If you interested in doing this test, I recommend this website because it provides a very good explanation which include the strength percentage on each psychological function. As for me, my personality type is INTJ.
What is INTJ? INTJ stands for Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. Some websites mentioned INTJ as The Masterminds while others call it The Scientist. Moreover, according to the research, INTJ type is the rarest in 16 types of MBTI and only represents 1-4% of populations. What is INTJ and what so rare about them.
INTJs are well known to be perfectionist and have high self-confidence. They easily mistaken to be arrogant for some people. Their self confidence due to their huge archive of knowledge in many different topics and area in which they build in early childhood and they usually given a nickname - bookworm. Their thirst of knowledge in any topics that spark their interest will make them a very difficult person to argue with as they done a lot of research, reading and thinking on the topic and very confidence on their knowledge. However what really unique about INTJ is they know what they know and know what they DONT know. When they master knowledge in their chosen topic, they can quickly and honestly say whether they know the answer or not. If they know, they will answer confidently. They are very decisive, insightful and original thus make people to accept their ideas simply because of sheer willpower and self-confidence. However, they not keen to fame and attention so they always keep opinion to themselves if the topic does not interest them that much.
INTJs are usually curious in many things but limited by their cold-blooded filter called "does it going to work". This produce an unusual independence minds freeing them from the constraint of authority, convention, sentiment and remain in rational territory.
In term of leadership, INTJ personalities also often shoulder the burden of making important decisions without consulting their peers. They are natural leaders and excellent strategists, but willingly give way to others vying for a leadership position, usually people with Extroverted personalities (E personality type). However, such action can be deceptive and maybe even calculated. An INTJ will retreat into the shadows, maintaining their grip on the most important decisions – but as soon as the leader fails and there is a need to take the steering wheel, the INTJ will not hesitate to act, maybe even while staying in the background. The INTJ personality is the ultimate “Man behind the curtain”.
Every personality type has many weak spots and INTJs are not an exception. There is one area where their brilliant mind often becomes completely useless and may even hinder their efforts – INTJs find it very difficult to handle romantic relationships, especially in their earliest stages. People with this personality type are more than capable of loving and taking care of the people close to them, but they are likely to be completely clueless when it comes to attracting a partner. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJs are apt to express emotional reactions. At times, INTJs seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact they are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those they care for.
The main reason behind this is that INTJ personalities are both
private and incredibly rational – they find it very difficult to
understand the complex social rituals that are considered part of the
dating game, especially in Western societies. Things like flirting or
small talk are unnatural to them; furthermore, INTJs (especially
females) tend to see typical attraction tactics (such as feigning
disinterest) as incredibly stupid and irrational. Ironically, INTJs are
most likely to attract a partner when they stop looking for them –
this is when their self-confidence starts shining again. There are few
things that are more attractive than the unrelenting self-confidence
that INTJs are known for.
To get a clear view of INTJ, there are few characters that possess INTJ traits such as Sherlock Holmes, Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, Gregory House from House M.D and more.
I have to admit that the analysis of INTJs was taken from few websites as I am not the expert on the subject. However, I can absolutely relate to every traits of INTJ. Besides, I took the test few times in different conditions just to be sure.
It is not easy to be INTJ. Many people that barely know me thought I am arrogant but the truth is I don't know what to say to them and I don't like to engage to a seemingly no purpose conversation. People always mistaken me as a heartless person and cold but I am not. Since I was a kid, I had learned to hide my emotions or to ignore sentiments that prove to be irrelevant. "bookworm" is definitely me! I really love reading book and i rather choose reading book than socializing with other people. For me, books are a window to a broader world and it always gives me satisfaction in knowing something new. As for leadership section, it is true I like having a power but that does not mean I like being a leader. Power means to have influence on decision making. When I involve in a group or a team for a mission or a program, at first, I will be very low profile and do less talking. I will observe every group member especially the group leader and if I find that the leader is capable on doing his or her work, I will let his or her do it. However, if they are not very good in steering the group to meet the purpose, I will take charge (but its all depends on my mood). There is one time that the leader is not capable but I every group member is very good in doing their work, so I just do mine without interfering the leader's role.
To conclude, I believe that every person in this world is unique. Even though, personality test can give a good insight in our self but we cannot rely on them. every personality model has its weakness because it is a theory that created by human and it all depends on psychologist way of thinking, personality and environment. So where can we find a perfect personality model that really fit every individual? We cannot! what important is to always be true to ourselves and try to improve our behavior everyday. Remember, we are the best creation created by our creator, Allah so we should behave like one!
Basically, in psychology there are two main personality model being used widely, which is Big Five Personality Model and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
Big five personality model consist of five main category of personality trait; extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness to experience, and conscientiousness.
Meanwhile, The MBTI is a psychometric questionnaire designed based on "psychological types" book (published in 1921) by Carl Jung that stated that our personality can be divided to 4 principals of psychological function; intuitive, sensation, thinking and feeling. The questionnaire is mean to test our way of perceiving the world and making decisions.
I did my MBTI from http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp. If you interested in doing this test, I recommend this website because it provides a very good explanation which include the strength percentage on each psychological function. As for me, my personality type is INTJ.
What is INTJ? INTJ stands for Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. Some websites mentioned INTJ as The Masterminds while others call it The Scientist. Moreover, according to the research, INTJ type is the rarest in 16 types of MBTI and only represents 1-4% of populations. What is INTJ and what so rare about them.
INTJs are well known to be perfectionist and have high self-confidence. They easily mistaken to be arrogant for some people. Their self confidence due to their huge archive of knowledge in many different topics and area in which they build in early childhood and they usually given a nickname - bookworm. Their thirst of knowledge in any topics that spark their interest will make them a very difficult person to argue with as they done a lot of research, reading and thinking on the topic and very confidence on their knowledge. However what really unique about INTJ is they know what they know and know what they DONT know. When they master knowledge in their chosen topic, they can quickly and honestly say whether they know the answer or not. If they know, they will answer confidently. They are very decisive, insightful and original thus make people to accept their ideas simply because of sheer willpower and self-confidence. However, they not keen to fame and attention so they always keep opinion to themselves if the topic does not interest them that much.
INTJs are usually curious in many things but limited by their cold-blooded filter called "does it going to work". This produce an unusual independence minds freeing them from the constraint of authority, convention, sentiment and remain in rational territory.
In term of leadership, INTJ personalities also often shoulder the burden of making important decisions without consulting their peers. They are natural leaders and excellent strategists, but willingly give way to others vying for a leadership position, usually people with Extroverted personalities (E personality type). However, such action can be deceptive and maybe even calculated. An INTJ will retreat into the shadows, maintaining their grip on the most important decisions – but as soon as the leader fails and there is a need to take the steering wheel, the INTJ will not hesitate to act, maybe even while staying in the background. The INTJ personality is the ultimate “Man behind the curtain”.
Every personality type has many weak spots and INTJs are not an exception. There is one area where their brilliant mind often becomes completely useless and may even hinder their efforts – INTJs find it very difficult to handle romantic relationships, especially in their earliest stages. People with this personality type are more than capable of loving and taking care of the people close to them, but they are likely to be completely clueless when it comes to attracting a partner. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJs are apt to express emotional reactions. At times, INTJs seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact they are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those they care for.
To get a clear view of INTJ, there are few characters that possess INTJ traits such as Sherlock Holmes, Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, Gregory House from House M.D and more.
I have to admit that the analysis of INTJs was taken from few websites as I am not the expert on the subject. However, I can absolutely relate to every traits of INTJ. Besides, I took the test few times in different conditions just to be sure.
It is not easy to be INTJ. Many people that barely know me thought I am arrogant but the truth is I don't know what to say to them and I don't like to engage to a seemingly no purpose conversation. People always mistaken me as a heartless person and cold but I am not. Since I was a kid, I had learned to hide my emotions or to ignore sentiments that prove to be irrelevant. "bookworm" is definitely me! I really love reading book and i rather choose reading book than socializing with other people. For me, books are a window to a broader world and it always gives me satisfaction in knowing something new. As for leadership section, it is true I like having a power but that does not mean I like being a leader. Power means to have influence on decision making. When I involve in a group or a team for a mission or a program, at first, I will be very low profile and do less talking. I will observe every group member especially the group leader and if I find that the leader is capable on doing his or her work, I will let his or her do it. However, if they are not very good in steering the group to meet the purpose, I will take charge (but its all depends on my mood). There is one time that the leader is not capable but I every group member is very good in doing their work, so I just do mine without interfering the leader's role.
To conclude, I believe that every person in this world is unique. Even though, personality test can give a good insight in our self but we cannot rely on them. every personality model has its weakness because it is a theory that created by human and it all depends on psychologist way of thinking, personality and environment. So where can we find a perfect personality model that really fit every individual? We cannot! what important is to always be true to ourselves and try to improve our behavior everyday. Remember, we are the best creation created by our creator, Allah so we should behave like one!
A thousands word
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
If you can only have 1000 words before you die, what you gonna says?
Words can be like a sword in a fight,
Words can be like a rain in a hot day,
Its beauty lies on the mouth of the speaker and the heart of receiver.
A spoken words can never be taken back, all you can do is offering explanation and apologize if needed.
In this digital world, even what we update in status or comment can be count as spoken words. So, my friend, have you use your words wisely?
I think everyone can understand the effects of words in our live either positive or negative. In a case where people throw me a criticism, I will be in a moment of silence and reflect every words that they use and the intonation. Do they mean it? If they do, why?
What should I do next? fire up and blast them with my piece of mind? I like to remind my friends and I, "focus on the solution, not the problem","see it in the speaker's eyes than yours","empathy is an advantage". When people criticize or scold you, be optimist. It is wrong to deny everything as the tree wont sway if not for a wind. It is also wrong to accept everything without judging the situation. Stay true to yourself even there is some part of you want to stick to conformity. Every person and individual in this world is unique and Allah created us with partners. Means there is someone in this universe can understand you while others cannot. However, this is not a passport for behaving badly, breaking the laws with hope others can accept what you did.
There is some people with a personality trait that hard to express themselves through words. Sometimes we call them anti-social just because there hardly spoken anything but does it means they cant express themselves using words?maybe they can express better using written words than spoken words. So you see, its hard to judge people. Its hard to make their profile just base on their personality. Can you judge people based on their vocabulary. For example, an intellectual individual may choose a vast vocabulary to mirror their vast knowledge and vice versa. Its that mean, we can decide on people intelligence based on their words? A wise man always use a wiser words to share their wisdom.
Undeniably, words is not just a sentence, a ABC or grammar. Words is ourselves. We are what we say. Thus, if you want to be great man, use better words. Do not hurt people in purpose of discouraging to satisfy your inner selfishness because what you say today, will come back to you one day. Even if its not happen in this world, it may be happen in the hereafter as Allah already stated in Quran that every deed, either small or big will be punish or reward.
To all my friends, mind you words,its a mirror to your soul.
Words can be like a sword in a fight,
Words can be like a rain in a hot day,
Its beauty lies on the mouth of the speaker and the heart of receiver.
A spoken words can never be taken back, all you can do is offering explanation and apologize if needed.
In this digital world, even what we update in status or comment can be count as spoken words. So, my friend, have you use your words wisely?
I think everyone can understand the effects of words in our live either positive or negative. In a case where people throw me a criticism, I will be in a moment of silence and reflect every words that they use and the intonation. Do they mean it? If they do, why?
What should I do next? fire up and blast them with my piece of mind? I like to remind my friends and I, "focus on the solution, not the problem","see it in the speaker's eyes than yours","empathy is an advantage". When people criticize or scold you, be optimist. It is wrong to deny everything as the tree wont sway if not for a wind. It is also wrong to accept everything without judging the situation. Stay true to yourself even there is some part of you want to stick to conformity. Every person and individual in this world is unique and Allah created us with partners. Means there is someone in this universe can understand you while others cannot. However, this is not a passport for behaving badly, breaking the laws with hope others can accept what you did.
There is some people with a personality trait that hard to express themselves through words. Sometimes we call them anti-social just because there hardly spoken anything but does it means they cant express themselves using words?maybe they can express better using written words than spoken words. So you see, its hard to judge people. Its hard to make their profile just base on their personality. Can you judge people based on their vocabulary. For example, an intellectual individual may choose a vast vocabulary to mirror their vast knowledge and vice versa. Its that mean, we can decide on people intelligence based on their words? A wise man always use a wiser words to share their wisdom.
Undeniably, words is not just a sentence, a ABC or grammar. Words is ourselves. We are what we say. Thus, if you want to be great man, use better words. Do not hurt people in purpose of discouraging to satisfy your inner selfishness because what you say today, will come back to you one day. Even if its not happen in this world, it may be happen in the hereafter as Allah already stated in Quran that every deed, either small or big will be punish or reward.
To all my friends, mind you words,its a mirror to your soul.
Being Introvert
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Being an introvert in a world require me to do presentation and a lot of group work is undeniably tiresome.
As an introvert, I live in my own world since I was a kid thus I have very lonely childhood. If you ask me,
what is my best memories of playing with friends, I cant answer it. I spent most of my childhood watching television or reading books and I love that world so much!
However my little world crumbles when I step up to university. During my time as a foundation student, there is few subject require me to present in front of the class. I have a great ability to explaining things to people but having to talk in front of everyone really scares me. and what bother me the most is the thrill before presentation. The nervousness that so visible that people can see my hands shaking. There is one time, when I stand on the stage my whole body is shaking. I really hate it.
I thought this nervousness will be disappear if I got enough practice or after several presentation but it stays on. Sometime, it gets worse. Therefore, it is natural for me to hate presentation.
After foundation studies, I enrolled in local university taking Business Administration major in Human Resource Management. This program requires every student to have great social and presentation skills to prepare us for our career. That is why there is presentation for every subject in every semester. WhaT!!! Frankly speaking, Im more worried for presentation rather than final examination. In final examination, I dont have to talk in front of everyone!
In Susan Cain's book entitled Quiet, she writes about being introvert in the world that cant stop talking. Everyone talk a lot. they talk in facebook, blog(like I did now, but you cant see my lip), twitter, wechat, kakao talk etc. Technology actually helps many introvert around the world deliver their thought without having to stand up on the stage, holding a microphone and making eye contact with audience. What I really like about this book is not only the tremendous researchs discussed in the book but also many advices given to the introvert to deliver a great speech. Firstly, accept and embrace who you are. Secondly, know your streangth and weaknesses. Thirdly, use it well.
I may not appear to be entertaining, happy-go-lucky and talkative like my fellow extrovert friends are, but I have abilities to understand things easily and quickly and explain it clearly to people. I also have vast knowledge in many different areas. and my weakness is the nausea and shaking feeling before and during presentation. So what I did is, I concentrate in every facts and theories on the topic, find examples that can help people understand. Then, I prepare and practice my presentation at home in front of myself and using mental imagery. Researching a lot of ways to improve my presentation skills and overcome glassophobia really help me along the way.
In conclusion, Being introvert is not an excuse to not giving a great presentation. Many great speaker in this world is introverts, they may rarely give speech but when they speak, they give IMPACT. So, my fellow introverts, be proud!
As an introvert, I live in my own world since I was a kid thus I have very lonely childhood. If you ask me,
what is my best memories of playing with friends, I cant answer it. I spent most of my childhood watching television or reading books and I love that world so much!
However my little world crumbles when I step up to university. During my time as a foundation student, there is few subject require me to present in front of the class. I have a great ability to explaining things to people but having to talk in front of everyone really scares me. and what bother me the most is the thrill before presentation. The nervousness that so visible that people can see my hands shaking. There is one time, when I stand on the stage my whole body is shaking. I really hate it.
I thought this nervousness will be disappear if I got enough practice or after several presentation but it stays on. Sometime, it gets worse. Therefore, it is natural for me to hate presentation.
After foundation studies, I enrolled in local university taking Business Administration major in Human Resource Management. This program requires every student to have great social and presentation skills to prepare us for our career. That is why there is presentation for every subject in every semester. WhaT!!! Frankly speaking, Im more worried for presentation rather than final examination. In final examination, I dont have to talk in front of everyone!
In Susan Cain's book entitled Quiet, she writes about being introvert in the world that cant stop talking. Everyone talk a lot. they talk in facebook, blog(like I did now, but you cant see my lip), twitter, wechat, kakao talk etc. Technology actually helps many introvert around the world deliver their thought without having to stand up on the stage, holding a microphone and making eye contact with audience. What I really like about this book is not only the tremendous researchs discussed in the book but also many advices given to the introvert to deliver a great speech. Firstly, accept and embrace who you are. Secondly, know your streangth and weaknesses. Thirdly, use it well.
I may not appear to be entertaining, happy-go-lucky and talkative like my fellow extrovert friends are, but I have abilities to understand things easily and quickly and explain it clearly to people. I also have vast knowledge in many different areas. and my weakness is the nausea and shaking feeling before and during presentation. So what I did is, I concentrate in every facts and theories on the topic, find examples that can help people understand. Then, I prepare and practice my presentation at home in front of myself and using mental imagery. Researching a lot of ways to improve my presentation skills and overcome glassophobia really help me along the way.
In conclusion, Being introvert is not an excuse to not giving a great presentation. Many great speaker in this world is introverts, they may rarely give speech but when they speak, they give IMPACT. So, my fellow introverts, be proud!
Scenery
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
I had spare time yesterday evening, so I did some editing to my photo collection.
The picture of below was taken at Putrajaya Lake. At that time, my friends and I had a task to sale foods during rowing competition to collect money for community service program.
There is few photos from our program at Terengganu that I choose to edit. Below, a photo of boat service at Terengganu port bay. Coincidentally,when I zoom the photo, I had snap a picture of couple in the boat so I put some words to give more meaningful and romantic feeling to the photo.
This is a common scenery at Kampung Nelayan, Terengganu. I can imagine this picture to put in the frame or print to the canvas and hang in my hall.
This also taken at Terengganu when my friend walking along the beach. While looking at the photo, I feel how strong their friendship are and after so many years they are still be friend.
Finally, the picture of mengkarung that I cant remember where I snap it. It seems that the mengkarung was observing its environment and smiling.
The picture of below was taken at Putrajaya Lake. At that time, my friends and I had a task to sale foods during rowing competition to collect money for community service program.
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| Time Travel |
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| Bahtera Cinta Kita |
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| Kampung Nelayan Terengganu |
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| Sahabat Selamanya |
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| Observe the nature |
Abstract flowers edit
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
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| Hati-Hati skecth |
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| Pink in desert |
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| Crimson Line |
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| Tears of Flower |
Orchid
Friday, May 10, 2013
My mom is a big fan of orchid so at our lawn she plant few orchids. I gonna show two of them that bloom last week. Dendrobium purple and yellow phalaenopsis.
Flowers are red...not really..
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Berkebun. Sebelum ini, aku kurang berminat berkebun kerana perlu bergelumang dengan tanah dan perlu berpanas tetapi semenjak aku mengambil alih tugas ibuku ketika dia mengerjakan umrah, aku semakin suka berkebun. Aku seronok menarik rumput-rumput liar yang tumbuh dalam pasu, membaja, menyiram dan mengalih pasu sekiranya perlu. Ini aku sertakan gambar bunga-bunga yang ada di lamanku.
oleh sebab masalah internet, hanya 2 gambar dapat dilampirkan.
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| Bunga apakah ini? |
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| bunga cactus |
oleh sebab masalah internet, hanya 2 gambar dapat dilampirkan.
Bad habit
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Its my habit to procrastinate...
Its my habit to stop think of the solution if Im stress...
Its my habit to take something important for granted...
Its my habit to generate idea and not put it into action...
Its my habit to give up halfway...
Its my habit to find excuses than find a way...
Yes, I admit all this bitterly!
As a 24 years old woman ( i dont think girl is appropriate at this age), I feel useless. I'm still studying while many of my friend start their career. during the semester break, I live with my mom while others working part time. I have no property under my name such as car, house and etc. And to make matter worse, I have no savings. Can I be more useless.
Recently, I talk to my friend about my inability to work far from home because of my mother and she suggested online business and again being me, i'm trying to find excuses. What the hell is wrong with me?!
People around me think I'm brilliant and even I think I have a great brain. But why i'm still stuck and far from successful.
About buying a car, I think I need a car to move around. However, according to Robert Kiyosaki, if you want to add your liability, firstly you have to add your asset. The car in this case is liability so I need income.What can I do? Lets list the option:
1. Work in Kuantan if my mom allowed during sem break
2. Work at my sister shop. eventhough she will only pay few hundreds but if I can help try to increase the shop income, she may give me more. The only problem here is transportation as I dont know how to ride motorcycle and I cant drive her car.
3. Work at home. but what kind of work?sewing?
hmmm....
Its my habit to stop think of the solution if Im stress...
Its my habit to take something important for granted...
Its my habit to generate idea and not put it into action...
Its my habit to give up halfway...
Its my habit to find excuses than find a way...
Yes, I admit all this bitterly!
As a 24 years old woman ( i dont think girl is appropriate at this age), I feel useless. I'm still studying while many of my friend start their career. during the semester break, I live with my mom while others working part time. I have no property under my name such as car, house and etc. And to make matter worse, I have no savings. Can I be more useless.
Recently, I talk to my friend about my inability to work far from home because of my mother and she suggested online business and again being me, i'm trying to find excuses. What the hell is wrong with me?!
People around me think I'm brilliant and even I think I have a great brain. But why i'm still stuck and far from successful.
About buying a car, I think I need a car to move around. However, according to Robert Kiyosaki, if you want to add your liability, firstly you have to add your asset. The car in this case is liability so I need income.What can I do? Lets list the option:
1. Work in Kuantan if my mom allowed during sem break
2. Work at my sister shop. eventhough she will only pay few hundreds but if I can help try to increase the shop income, she may give me more. The only problem here is transportation as I dont know how to ride motorcycle and I cant drive her car.
3. Work at home. but what kind of work?sewing?
hmmm....
Stress Out
Monday, March 11, 2013
Stress is something normal in our life. We always stress about almost everything. Sometime we stress cause have nothing to wear eventhough our closet is full (girls u know what im talking about). And some people stress because their team lose in a football match (i can never understand). So, from small to big thing we easily get stress.
Is it really because of the situation we in? Is it because of the problem? Or is it cause by us? Stephen R Covey in his book stated that man has to focus on solution, not problem. And it is undeniably true. However, its not easy, every time i have a problem i try to focus on the solution and everything went well until my heart start to interfere and my emotiong struggling, wiggling to get out. What should we do then? Keep focus on the solution!
Write down your propose solution and try to consider every alternative you have. For instance, i recently had a problem with one of my group member At that time I was angry but then I try to focus on the solution. I gave her a choice and I let her choose the solution of our problem. During the process I did raise my voice a bit but its needed to make her realize that she can't mess with me. Thank god, she decided to behave more properly and be more responsible. You see, at that time, I can talk to my lecturer and get her out of my group but I didn't. Why? Humanity. As a human, we don't like treated badly, punished by our behavior. What we want is someone to care and help us then give a chance to straight thing up. I do believe that justice is when you give someone chance to repent. Because I choose to focus on solution everything going well
So, for all my friends out there who had a problem, take out a piece o paper and start list down your solution. If you block out, ask someone for help. Maybe, they experience something similar and can provide you some insight.
Here is some solution that MAY help those who in depression. I experience it before so I want to share with you what I did to get out of it.
1. Have faith in Allah and fate.
2. Do not lock yourself in a room. Get out, have fresh air and meet people.
3. Get busy or get a hobby.
4. Talk to friends, family, counselor or anyone that you can trust and feel comfortable with.
5. Accept the advise from those who genuinely concern about you and neglect all the negative things that people that hate you throw at you.
6. Focus on the solution rather than your problem.
7. Keep moving and don't give up.
8. Read and listen and get occupy with motivation books or media. Words can hurt people but words also can heal people.
9. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Have a strong self pride.
10. Write a letter to yourself, tell yourself to stay strong and be brave. Every time you feeling down read this letter.
Last but not least I want to share 4 words my counselor told me that always keep me strong in a rainy day.
BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF!!!!
Is it really because of the situation we in? Is it because of the problem? Or is it cause by us? Stephen R Covey in his book stated that man has to focus on solution, not problem. And it is undeniably true. However, its not easy, every time i have a problem i try to focus on the solution and everything went well until my heart start to interfere and my emotiong struggling, wiggling to get out. What should we do then? Keep focus on the solution!
Write down your propose solution and try to consider every alternative you have. For instance, i recently had a problem with one of my group member At that time I was angry but then I try to focus on the solution. I gave her a choice and I let her choose the solution of our problem. During the process I did raise my voice a bit but its needed to make her realize that she can't mess with me. Thank god, she decided to behave more properly and be more responsible. You see, at that time, I can talk to my lecturer and get her out of my group but I didn't. Why? Humanity. As a human, we don't like treated badly, punished by our behavior. What we want is someone to care and help us then give a chance to straight thing up. I do believe that justice is when you give someone chance to repent. Because I choose to focus on solution everything going well
So, for all my friends out there who had a problem, take out a piece o paper and start list down your solution. If you block out, ask someone for help. Maybe, they experience something similar and can provide you some insight.
Here is some solution that MAY help those who in depression. I experience it before so I want to share with you what I did to get out of it.
1. Have faith in Allah and fate.
2. Do not lock yourself in a room. Get out, have fresh air and meet people.
3. Get busy or get a hobby.
4. Talk to friends, family, counselor or anyone that you can trust and feel comfortable with.
5. Accept the advise from those who genuinely concern about you and neglect all the negative things that people that hate you throw at you.
6. Focus on the solution rather than your problem.
7. Keep moving and don't give up.
8. Read and listen and get occupy with motivation books or media. Words can hurt people but words also can heal people.
9. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Have a strong self pride.
10. Write a letter to yourself, tell yourself to stay strong and be brave. Every time you feeling down read this letter.
Last but not least I want to share 4 words my counselor told me that always keep me strong in a rainy day.
BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF!!!!
Cita hawa
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Assalamualaikum.
Kali ini kita ingin berkongsi sebuah cerita berdasarkan pengalaman kita. Semuanya bermula tahun lepas, pada sesi terakhir kita bersama kaunsoler. Kita memberitahunya yang kita sudah buat keputusan untuk kembali ke tanah air dan menyambung pengajian di universiti tempatan dalam bidang bisnes. Kita juga katakan yang kita akan berkongsi pengalaman kegagalan dan kejayaan kita bersama rakan-rakan baru, dengan harapan kita dapat memberi inspirasi kepada mereka.
Selepas setahun, kita dapat rasakan bahawa hidup kita berada dilandasan yang sepatutnya. Kita juga dapat melaksanakan misi kita untuk berkongsi pengalaman dengan sahabat kita disini.
dalam ramai-ramai, kita ingin berkongsi cerita tentang seorang hamba Allah ini. Seawal perkenalan kami, kita bertanya tentang cita-citanya dan dengan tangkas dia menjawab ingin menjadi seorang suri-rumah berijazah. Alangkah terkejutnya kita mendengar jawapan dia. Kita tahu ramai yang ingin menjadi seorang suri rumah tetapi berapa ramai je yang ingin menjadi suri rumah berijazah. kita terus bertanya, itu sahaja ke?dan dia terus membisu.
Sepanjang persahabatan kami, kita lihat dia seorang yang mempunyai semangat belajar dan keinginan untuk menimba ilmu cuma kadang-kadang dirinya terbelenggu dengan sikap-sikap yang sudah sebati dalam dirinya. Dia seorang yang rajin bertanya walaupun pemalu. kita juga lihat dia semakin kerap mendampingi buku-buku sebagai wacana ilmu. Namun adat manusia zaman kini, tidak terlepas daripada godaan laman sesawang seperti facebook.
Kini, apabila ditanya tentang cita-citanya, dia masih kekal dengan jawapan sebagai suri rumah berijazah cuma terdapat lebih penjelasan menunjukkan yang dia semakin jelas dengan masa depannya. Dia mahu menjadi seorang ibu yang boleh mendidik anak-anaknya dengan ilmu akhirat dan membantu mereka dengan ilmu dunia. Selain itu, untuk membantu suaminya, dia mahu berniaga, membuka sebuah kedai bersama rakan-rakannya. Oleh sebab ini, dia bukan sahaja dapat meringankan tugas suami mencari rezeki tetapi juga punya masa yang banyak untuk bersama dengan anak-anaknya.
Kita doakan yang cita-citanya yang tulus dan murni ini tercapai satu masa nanti dan semoga Allah merahmati hidupnya.
Apa yang dapat kita simpulkan di sini ialah:
Belajar bukan sekadar untuk segulung ijazah,
Belajarlah kerana dahagakan ilmu.
Seorang wanita tugas utamanya bukan sekadar melahirkan
tetapi mendidik,
jika suami dikatakan tuggak keluarga, isterilah yang menyempurnakannya
Kegagalan itu menyakitkan,
namun
Mereka yang tidak pernah merasa kegagalan
tidak akan merasa nikmat kejayaan.
Kali ini kita ingin berkongsi sebuah cerita berdasarkan pengalaman kita. Semuanya bermula tahun lepas, pada sesi terakhir kita bersama kaunsoler. Kita memberitahunya yang kita sudah buat keputusan untuk kembali ke tanah air dan menyambung pengajian di universiti tempatan dalam bidang bisnes. Kita juga katakan yang kita akan berkongsi pengalaman kegagalan dan kejayaan kita bersama rakan-rakan baru, dengan harapan kita dapat memberi inspirasi kepada mereka.
Selepas setahun, kita dapat rasakan bahawa hidup kita berada dilandasan yang sepatutnya. Kita juga dapat melaksanakan misi kita untuk berkongsi pengalaman dengan sahabat kita disini.
dalam ramai-ramai, kita ingin berkongsi cerita tentang seorang hamba Allah ini. Seawal perkenalan kami, kita bertanya tentang cita-citanya dan dengan tangkas dia menjawab ingin menjadi seorang suri-rumah berijazah. Alangkah terkejutnya kita mendengar jawapan dia. Kita tahu ramai yang ingin menjadi seorang suri rumah tetapi berapa ramai je yang ingin menjadi suri rumah berijazah. kita terus bertanya, itu sahaja ke?dan dia terus membisu.
Sepanjang persahabatan kami, kita lihat dia seorang yang mempunyai semangat belajar dan keinginan untuk menimba ilmu cuma kadang-kadang dirinya terbelenggu dengan sikap-sikap yang sudah sebati dalam dirinya. Dia seorang yang rajin bertanya walaupun pemalu. kita juga lihat dia semakin kerap mendampingi buku-buku sebagai wacana ilmu. Namun adat manusia zaman kini, tidak terlepas daripada godaan laman sesawang seperti facebook.
Kini, apabila ditanya tentang cita-citanya, dia masih kekal dengan jawapan sebagai suri rumah berijazah cuma terdapat lebih penjelasan menunjukkan yang dia semakin jelas dengan masa depannya. Dia mahu menjadi seorang ibu yang boleh mendidik anak-anaknya dengan ilmu akhirat dan membantu mereka dengan ilmu dunia. Selain itu, untuk membantu suaminya, dia mahu berniaga, membuka sebuah kedai bersama rakan-rakannya. Oleh sebab ini, dia bukan sahaja dapat meringankan tugas suami mencari rezeki tetapi juga punya masa yang banyak untuk bersama dengan anak-anaknya.
Kita doakan yang cita-citanya yang tulus dan murni ini tercapai satu masa nanti dan semoga Allah merahmati hidupnya.
Apa yang dapat kita simpulkan di sini ialah:
Belajar bukan sekadar untuk segulung ijazah,
Belajarlah kerana dahagakan ilmu.
Seorang wanita tugas utamanya bukan sekadar melahirkan
tetapi mendidik,
jika suami dikatakan tuggak keluarga, isterilah yang menyempurnakannya
Kegagalan itu menyakitkan,
namun
Mereka yang tidak pernah merasa kegagalan
tidak akan merasa nikmat kejayaan.
Hijrah
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Kala ini, semakin ramai umat Islam yang kembali ke jalan yang benar dan mula sedar untuk berhijrah. Kemudahan teknologi menjadikan penyebaran ilmu semakin mudah. Maka berduyun-duyunlah umat Islam mencari ilmu dan beramal dengan niat memperoleh keredhaan Allah. Tiada jalan yang lebih terang dari jalan Islam. Kita manusia sentiasa lalai dan leka tentang tujuan sebenar kita dicipta, ada yang mendabik dada dengan kesenangan yang diberi Allah. Antara persoalan yang sering kita tanyakan pada diri ialah:
1. bersediakah untuk mati?
2. andai mati itu menjelang, adakah akan gembira atau berduka?
3. Bagaimana ingin kembali?
4. Kita dambakan syurga tetapi terasa diri tidak layak untuk kesana tetapi kita xsanggup ke neraka. Jadi, bagaimana?
ramai antara kita yang masih mencari. Hidayah takkan datang bergolek. Usaha, doa dan tawakkal perlu seiring. Malah setiap amalan mestilah dilakukan secara Istiqamah-berterusan.
Perkara yang paling penting sekali dalam menjadi muslimah solehah ialah solat kerana solat tiang agama. Jadi antara usaha untuk berhijrah yang boleh dilakukan ialah:
1. Solat 5 waktu di awal waktu
2. Membaca Al-quran dan maknanya.
3. Membaca bismillah dalam semua perkara
4. berkawan dengan org-org soleh
5. Menghadiri majlis-majlis ilmu.
Doakanlah kita berjaya untuk berubah menjadi wanita yang solehah. Amin.
1. bersediakah untuk mati?
2. andai mati itu menjelang, adakah akan gembira atau berduka?
3. Bagaimana ingin kembali?
4. Kita dambakan syurga tetapi terasa diri tidak layak untuk kesana tetapi kita xsanggup ke neraka. Jadi, bagaimana?
ramai antara kita yang masih mencari. Hidayah takkan datang bergolek. Usaha, doa dan tawakkal perlu seiring. Malah setiap amalan mestilah dilakukan secara Istiqamah-berterusan.
Perkara yang paling penting sekali dalam menjadi muslimah solehah ialah solat kerana solat tiang agama. Jadi antara usaha untuk berhijrah yang boleh dilakukan ialah:
1. Solat 5 waktu di awal waktu
2. Membaca Al-quran dan maknanya.
3. Membaca bismillah dalam semua perkara
4. berkawan dengan org-org soleh
5. Menghadiri majlis-majlis ilmu.
Doakanlah kita berjaya untuk berubah menjadi wanita yang solehah. Amin.
Resepi Bubur Nasi Bersantan
Pada satu malam yang indah, tiba-tiba perutku berkeroncong. Malangnya, rumah ni ada ikan bilis je. so, kita pun 'call' mak kita minta resepi bubur nasi bersantan.
Bahan-bahan
1. beras
2. air
3. nasi
cara-cara:
1. masakkan nasi macam biasa tapi tambah air apabila mula kering.
2. selepas nasi sudah kembang, masukkan santan.
3.santan tu sebanyak yang disukai dan masukkan garam secukup rasa.
4. kacaukan nasi ngan santan. biarkan sekejap tetapi jangan sampai santan pecah minyak.
Kalau hendak sedap, makan dengan ikan bilis goreng kicap.
bahan-bahan
1. ikan bilis
2. bawang merah dan bawang putih
3. kicap
4. lada
cara-cara:
1. goreng ikan bilis sampai garing dan ketepikan
2. tumis bawang
3. masukkan kicap secukup rasa.
4. masukkan lada.
5. masukkan ikan bilis yang digoreng.
Bahan-bahan
1. beras
2. air
3. nasi
cara-cara:
1. masakkan nasi macam biasa tapi tambah air apabila mula kering.
2. selepas nasi sudah kembang, masukkan santan.
3.santan tu sebanyak yang disukai dan masukkan garam secukup rasa.
4. kacaukan nasi ngan santan. biarkan sekejap tetapi jangan sampai santan pecah minyak.
Kalau hendak sedap, makan dengan ikan bilis goreng kicap.
bahan-bahan
1. ikan bilis
2. bawang merah dan bawang putih
3. kicap
4. lada
cara-cara:
1. goreng ikan bilis sampai garing dan ketepikan
2. tumis bawang
3. masukkan kicap secukup rasa.
4. masukkan lada.
5. masukkan ikan bilis yang digoreng.
Warna Hidup
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Hidup punya warna, biar pudar jangan gelita,
Di atas jalan hidup,
Jangan malu hidup berhenti bertanya
Jangan segan menghulur tangan
Lampu-lampu harapan memerangi kegagalan,
lalu bercambah impian, bertambah iman,
menjadi akar pohon hidup manusia.
Fever
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Its my first week of a very short holidays. The first 2 days, i was down for stomachache and now i have a fever.
Originally, i plan to do photo editing and make a bookmark. Unfortunately, i cant do it until i fully recover.
However, tonight, despite my headache, i manage to capture and edit a photo of my cat, Mao.
I love her so much. If you look at her face, she seems distant and arrogant but actually she such a cute cat. I never have a cat that so obidient like her. She will come whenever i call her, she will accompany when i stay up late watching tv and always cone to bed with me.
She is not a very tame cat and everytime i try to lock her up, she will get away. As a cat, she is a very skillful rat catcher and lizard killer.
When we were playing, i did get injured sometimes but i dont mind at all because for me a cat should behave as one. Im not someone who will bath their cat, trim its nail and make it wear clothes or bow.
I name her Mao because she likes to 'meow'. This is a picture of her. My cat, my friend, my loyal companion.
Originally, i plan to do photo editing and make a bookmark. Unfortunately, i cant do it until i fully recover.
However, tonight, despite my headache, i manage to capture and edit a photo of my cat, Mao.
I love her so much. If you look at her face, she seems distant and arrogant but actually she such a cute cat. I never have a cat that so obidient like her. She will come whenever i call her, she will accompany when i stay up late watching tv and always cone to bed with me.
She is not a very tame cat and everytime i try to lock her up, she will get away. As a cat, she is a very skillful rat catcher and lizard killer.
When we were playing, i did get injured sometimes but i dont mind at all because for me a cat should behave as one. Im not someone who will bath their cat, trim its nail and make it wear clothes or bow.
I name her Mao because she likes to 'meow'. This is a picture of her. My cat, my friend, my loyal companion.
Kini Aku Mengerti Hatimu. Maaf
Friday, January 18, 2013
Recently, i watch LOVERS because its a good drama and i want to enjoy it. I did enjoy it but it also make me thinking.
Orang kata, perempuan ni emotional, mudah sgt terasa hati. Indeed. That makes man and woman different. Besides, that emotion make man attract to women
Tapi macam mana kalau terlebih emosi? Dalam cerita itu, heroin kedua selalu menangis depan hero sebab hero selalu sakitkan hati dia dan sebab hidup dia sangat kasihan. Tapi lepas seketika, rasa macam melampau lah pula, kesian hero tak faham dengan apa yang berlaku. Hero cuba buat heroin kedua tu gembira tapi perempuan tu asyik menangis.
In life, crying too much is not good. I dont like it. Its true tears are woman's weapon but we have to use it wisely. The weapon will turn into a burden if its too much.
It makes me think, why we keep blaming people for our suffering, why not just swallow its all and smile? Bukan senang tapi bukan mustahil.
Why dont try being tolerate. Try to understand others then we can gain peace.
Aku pernah buat silap dalam menterjemah hati manusia.
Aku biarkan dia tanggung semua kesalahan.
Sedangkan salah itu atas aku.
Tetap berdegil, aku lemparkan soalan
Terlalu susah kah untuk peduli
Tapi sebenarnya aku yang tidak
Memperduli kata hatinya
Aku salahkan lagi, tidak kah kau mengerti susahku ini
Tapi aku yang tidak tahu susahnya dia
Menurut kemahuan seseorang yang asyik meminta
Tetapi tidak pernah memberi.
Maafkan aku.
Orang kata, perempuan ni emotional, mudah sgt terasa hati. Indeed. That makes man and woman different. Besides, that emotion make man attract to women
Tapi macam mana kalau terlebih emosi? Dalam cerita itu, heroin kedua selalu menangis depan hero sebab hero selalu sakitkan hati dia dan sebab hidup dia sangat kasihan. Tapi lepas seketika, rasa macam melampau lah pula, kesian hero tak faham dengan apa yang berlaku. Hero cuba buat heroin kedua tu gembira tapi perempuan tu asyik menangis.
In life, crying too much is not good. I dont like it. Its true tears are woman's weapon but we have to use it wisely. The weapon will turn into a burden if its too much.
It makes me think, why we keep blaming people for our suffering, why not just swallow its all and smile? Bukan senang tapi bukan mustahil.
Why dont try being tolerate. Try to understand others then we can gain peace.
Aku pernah buat silap dalam menterjemah hati manusia.
Aku biarkan dia tanggung semua kesalahan.
Sedangkan salah itu atas aku.
Tetap berdegil, aku lemparkan soalan
Terlalu susah kah untuk peduli
Tapi sebenarnya aku yang tidak
Memperduli kata hatinya
Aku salahkan lagi, tidak kah kau mengerti susahku ini
Tapi aku yang tidak tahu susahnya dia
Menurut kemahuan seseorang yang asyik meminta
Tetapi tidak pernah memberi.
Maafkan aku.
Wisdom comes the hard away
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Last year many of my friends graduated and this year too. Well, its a lie if I said I dont feel jealous because I am! there is time that I want to close all the doors so I wont hear any of that news again, but I didnt. Why? because I proud of myself
Its true, I make a grand plan for my future before, and things turn not exactly how I want it to be. I fell pretty hard and its so hard to stand up again, but I did it. Its not easy and I'm not all strong. but still I'm proud of myself.
You know, no matter how perfect your plan is, always prepare to fail. I'm not saying that we should choose to fail but being prepared is important. Its true, we should burn the bridges down in order to succeed but if you fail, what should you do then? Crying your heart out at the bank while hoping some prince charming help you? Reality is not that sweet, dear. At the end, all you have is yourself.
You have to wake up, stand up and find a way to move on. Maybe, you can search for another path or build a small plane to cross the river, or swim to the other side. See, you have a lot choice, and if you make a wrong one, make another choice. Hope is always there as long as we breathe. Remember, there is many paths to get to our destination, so if you found out that the path you choose is a mistake, dont feel down, keep walking, who knows what will you find there.
Dont be afraid, dont be scare when you make a mistake. We are human, thats what we do. Make a mistake, get through it and hopefully one day we can laugh about it. Open your eyes to many possibilities, and open your heart to many pains. Through this painful moment, we can discover our true strength, we can clearly see between friends and foes, then maybe you can find your true love. Always open your heart.
Extraordinary people dont give up. They never stop working, living their live until they died. Even after they died, their legacy will be carried by others. so thus their wisdom.
For my friends who still fighting for their degree or diploma, Ganbatte Kudasai! Work hard will be paid.There is time that you feel tired and want to give up but listen carefully to your heart, what exactly do you want in your life. If you cant find your answer, well, its a tough case.
For my friends who just graduated, or will be, congratulation! You deserve it! Enjoy that great moment and never stop working hard. And, yes, get yourself prepare for the next stage of your life. Maybe get yourself a book about build a career, coping with co-worker or dealing with scary boss. Nevertheless, never forget to look down when you way up, who knows one day you will tumble down. I'm not trying to scare you. What i'm trying to tell you is having a degree is not a guarantee that you are better than anybody else. Listen to what other people tell you even if they just a janitor. If you want a respect you have to earn it.
When you arrive to your destination
"I learned what optimism really is: it's knowing that the more painful the event, the more profound the lessons. There are so many lessons in this life we just dont want to learn. You just cant tell someone these things and expect him to become wise. Wisdom only comes the hard way." - Dan Baker, psychologist.
Its true, I make a grand plan for my future before, and things turn not exactly how I want it to be. I fell pretty hard and its so hard to stand up again, but I did it. Its not easy and I'm not all strong. but still I'm proud of myself.
You know, no matter how perfect your plan is, always prepare to fail. I'm not saying that we should choose to fail but being prepared is important. Its true, we should burn the bridges down in order to succeed but if you fail, what should you do then? Crying your heart out at the bank while hoping some prince charming help you? Reality is not that sweet, dear. At the end, all you have is yourself.
You have to wake up, stand up and find a way to move on. Maybe, you can search for another path or build a small plane to cross the river, or swim to the other side. See, you have a lot choice, and if you make a wrong one, make another choice. Hope is always there as long as we breathe. Remember, there is many paths to get to our destination, so if you found out that the path you choose is a mistake, dont feel down, keep walking, who knows what will you find there.
Dont be afraid, dont be scare when you make a mistake. We are human, thats what we do. Make a mistake, get through it and hopefully one day we can laugh about it. Open your eyes to many possibilities, and open your heart to many pains. Through this painful moment, we can discover our true strength, we can clearly see between friends and foes, then maybe you can find your true love. Always open your heart.
 | |||||||
| We may wearing the same clothes, we may happen to choose the same path but there is no guarantee we will arrive at the same destination. Who knows what fate plan for us. |
Extraordinary people dont give up. They never stop working, living their live until they died. Even after they died, their legacy will be carried by others. so thus their wisdom.
For my friends who still fighting for their degree or diploma, Ganbatte Kudasai! Work hard will be paid.There is time that you feel tired and want to give up but listen carefully to your heart, what exactly do you want in your life. If you cant find your answer, well, its a tough case.
For my friends who just graduated, or will be, congratulation! You deserve it! Enjoy that great moment and never stop working hard. And, yes, get yourself prepare for the next stage of your life. Maybe get yourself a book about build a career, coping with co-worker or dealing with scary boss. Nevertheless, never forget to look down when you way up, who knows one day you will tumble down. I'm not trying to scare you. What i'm trying to tell you is having a degree is not a guarantee that you are better than anybody else. Listen to what other people tell you even if they just a janitor. If you want a respect you have to earn it.
Its a journey that bring people together,
Its a journey that bring all the joys and pains
In this journey we found love and hatred
and in this journey I found you.
When you arrive to your destination
Please remember what we have been through
The smile and the tears that we share together
and the most important thing is
Please remember....me.
"I learned what optimism really is: it's knowing that the more painful the event, the more profound the lessons. There are so many lessons in this life we just dont want to learn. You just cant tell someone these things and expect him to become wise. Wisdom only comes the hard way." - Dan Baker, psychologist.
Journey to the edge of Melbourne
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Yesterday, my friend read my blog and said that most of my posts have gloomy feeling in it. I cant be more agree. Before this, I usually write in here when i feel bad but not anymore. Nowadays, its more about sharing my passion, imagination and my own world. Lets be clear not all of my posts are about me and of coz not all about him.
Without further due, i want to share with you one happy story, a story of real me....
This was taken at Melbourne Zoo during my first year in Monash. At that time I went out with my frens since our day in Uniten Bangi
This is at the japanese garden in the Melbourne zoo. Its small but really beautiful (consider I never went to Japan so..). That guy is my fren who doing bachelor of science. Smart guy but can be annoying some time..hahahaha..If he ever read this, Im sorry and congratulation for your engagement with Far. Why we took the picture together? well, actually, at the beginning I was alone but then he came to inter frame. Hahahaha
After that, we went to melbourne city and spent our evening along Yarra River, my favorite place in the city.
And this is my fren, Azizul. He is a very nice guy and gentle too. But somehow, he seems distant or maybe I'm the one that being distant? Anyway, I like being fren with him and hope someday we will meet again. Oh yes, the background of this picture is a beautiful bridge, connected flinder street station and Eureka tower.
Its a street monkey!!! I read it once in the comic and I cant believe i can finally see it with my own eye. That red-shirt guy really are AMAZING.
See!! He walks from end to end without falling!!sugoih~~
After that, we went up to Eureka tower to watch the sunset and experience the scary box of Eureka. You will get into this square room, then something is moving, then the whole room become seeing-through glass. You look at your feet and you see the ground and you are highhhhhh way up.
We dont have the picture in that box, but this is me at the top of the Eureka. I can see the whole melbourne city from up there and the feeling is just unspeakable.
Nevertheless, we got the souvenir and went home with a happy face and soaring feet. It was a great experience, a great day I spent with you guys, and I will always treasured this. I feel glad that this memory that we etched in all the photos are still with me even after 3 years. We definitely survived the edge of melbourne and despite we end up in different destination, what truly valuable is the Journey. Thank YOU
Without further due, i want to share with you one happy story, a story of real me....
 |
| This is me, not really a looker but I always try to believe I am..hahahaha |
This was taken at Melbourne Zoo during my first year in Monash. At that time I went out with my frens since our day in Uniten Bangi
 |
| This is either when we waiting for the tram or we got lost. |
 |
| It was hot that day and drained our energy out..hehehe..sorry for his pose |
After that, we went to melbourne city and spent our evening along Yarra River, my favorite place in the city.
And this is my fren, Azizul. He is a very nice guy and gentle too. But somehow, he seems distant or maybe I'm the one that being distant? Anyway, I like being fren with him and hope someday we will meet again. Oh yes, the background of this picture is a beautiful bridge, connected flinder street station and Eureka tower.
Its a street monkey!!! I read it once in the comic and I cant believe i can finally see it with my own eye. That red-shirt guy really are AMAZING.
After that, we went up to Eureka tower to watch the sunset and experience the scary box of Eureka. You will get into this square room, then something is moving, then the whole room become seeing-through glass. You look at your feet and you see the ground and you are highhhhhh way up.
Nevertheless, we got the souvenir and went home with a happy face and soaring feet. It was a great experience, a great day I spent with you guys, and I will always treasured this. I feel glad that this memory that we etched in all the photos are still with me even after 3 years. We definitely survived the edge of melbourne and despite we end up in different destination, what truly valuable is the Journey. Thank YOU
 | |||||
| WE ALL SURVIVED THE EDGE |
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