Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It was such a miracle for me. I didnt expect to get back my purse. 11.15 am in my apartment, I received a phone call from Midvalley Information Centre. She told me that my purse was there because the founder submit it to them. Unbelievable. Farah, my roomate, asked me detail of the conversation because she afraid that it just a prank call. I put it aside and eagerly, Adib and I rushed to the Midvalley. It such a relief when I checked my purse that everything in there. huh. It feels like a big burden remove from my head.

This incident make me think, why it happen and what is the message behind all these? What can I learn? It told me that there is still many honest person in this world. I just have to find in everyone heart not by appearance and status. Oh yes, that founder name is Al-Nurudin. I'm not sure the gender but I'm going to call him/her to show my appreciation.

Everything happen under ALLAH control, not us. The only thing that we can do are put an effort and pray. We never know anything about future but we can construct it and try make it real. This incident make me think back my dreams and how I can make it real. Right now, it just a wild dreams since I do nothing to change it into reality. I'm going to sketch every path that I can take.

Yesterday, I read a book entitled 'The Celestial Management'. The book about doing business in Islamic way. I like the idea how it interpret business in term of human and god. When I ride on a train, my mind keep thinking about settle an extraordinary life. I want to become engineer but it is not enough. How becoming an engineer can contribute to ISLAM, MALAYS and MALAYSIA not only limit to my company? Looks like this book give me this answer :

' What is the use of creating large profits (by hooks or by crooks) if you die doing it?What is the use of creating momentary profits by sacrificing the reputation of the hereafter? "As mortals gain more correct views of god and man," writes Mary Baker Eddy in Science and Health, "multitudinous objects of creation, which before were invisible, will become visible." Death has opened our eyes about many things. Death reminds us that there is something far more valuable in this life than just the motivation of for bread alone. The result that you achieve - be it wealth, luxury, glory and great pride- will become nothing the moment death visits you. A new life, one that is eternal, will unfold before you. The result that we idolize will be valueless. So, why allow yourself to be buoyed by a worldly result?'

I hope this will not give you headache. Above paragraph is the base of an answer of my question. My weakness is to interpret my thinking into a right words so I hope you can understand it. hahaha.

What Should I do??

Sunday, November 30, 2008

What should I do now? I dont like asking people for help but looks like I have no choice. All this mess was my fault and I want to dealt it myself. I'm stuck.

Yesterday, I lost my purse together with IC, ID, bankcard, house key and money. Its all because of my own reckless. I never thought this happened. Now, with RM19, I'm stuck in uniten, dont know where to go or what to do. How will I survive?

Why I come back to Uniten? I just want to enjoy my day with friends for the last time since we are going to lead our own path. Only for that reason. Am I stupid? All this while I dont really care about other people as I know involve with other person will add more pain. But I'm just ordinary human looking for happiness. Tomorrow, there will be our last dinner together at Pak Arip house and I guess I cant go.

The only choice that I have to avoid me from starving here is to go to my sister's house. I need to text her and ask her to fetch me up as I cant carry all my luggage to the train station. Hope she dont mind. This is really not me, asking for help but I guess pride fall to the second place. In my family, I need to do things independently since I was in boarding school. At the age of 13 years old, I take a bus alone for the first time and I didnt know where to push a button to stop. I went to Kuantan alone and walk at a place I never been. When I studied in Uniten, I travel alone in a big dangerous city where murder is common sense. I guess people always take me as an independent girl but do they really know me? I'm afraid everytime I'm alone but I cant say it out loud. Let people know I'm tough cause I dont need their pity. My father dead when I was 3 years old. When I told other people, they will show their pity. I dont really need that. What I need is someone to hold my hand and accompany me along this road. Then, I decided not to tell anyone anymore. It's useless.

I dont know if my sister will say yes and if she does, I need to pay "duit minyak". She told me once, ' you cant get what you want easily, everything have a price'. I know that she wants me to be independent and I appreciate her way. However, it turns me become cruel. Nowadays, I hate to sympathy other people because as a human I believe everyone can overcome their obstacle. I hate to watch 'Bersamamu', seeing other people cry in front of thousands viewer, asking for mercy. This is wrong, I shouldnt feel this way but its come naturally.

Every hard work will be paid. I will give my very best to succeed become engineer and fulfill my dreams. My orphanage house will trained kids become a great and excellence man so that they can continue it. They will never beg for mercy and can stand by their own. They will protect each other but never become dependent. They will be grateful for whatever they have and use all the challenges as advantages. Being an orphans are not their unlucky fates but their strength to embraces the future. That is my dream!

Suddenly, I'm full with enthusiasm, forget about my problem, its just a small matter for me. Time will show me the way to solve this messy puzzle.

Friday, November 28, 2008

It's quite sometime I didnt post anything (cian blog ni sunyi). Oh ya, I've another blog actually in friendster so dont be shy, visit it when you free.

1st November 2008 - our giving certificate ceremonies. I attached some photos too. ceremonies week was the busiest week as we need to prepare everything even though we were the one who being celebrated.huuhuhuhu. However,thanks to some IKAL staff for helped us.

prepare for performance. They sang 3 songs. they did great performance but I think a better singer will make it greater.hehehe.

Deco preparation. We decorated dining hall all by ourselves.
It's really look grand but sorry I didnt have the photo that show dining hall after completed our deco.

Me on the stage, recieved the plague and certificate. Certificate given by Timbalan VC. I was the last person recieved it.huuuu.

performance by all graduan. Poem recited and sang a song from Ayu- Hanya di Mercu....Some of us sang it duel and they had a great voice..

pictures of my family

-me, my niece and my sis

my brother-

Overall view, everything going smoothly, just some technical problem. I can say its a success even it's such a simple ceremony


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Yesterday,my friend,Joseph ask me, why I choose engineering? I told him that this field challenging. That question really bother me so I decide to write in my blog.

Why engineering? Actually, I have no interest in circuit, semiconductor, power and whatever related to electric. I got an excellent result in PMR so I expect to see myself into SBP or MRSM. Unfortunately, there are no offer from them and its frustrating. The only offer from SM TEKNIK 1 KUANTAN in Electrical & Electronic study. I said to myself, maybe I can give a try because I never thought to be engineer. 2 years in SMTK gave me a lot of joy and slowly I fall in love with electrical. Electerical is a very abstract subject, something that you cannot see but worth to believe. I like mathematic and in Electrical we do many calculation.

What is my ambition? Answer,I dont have any. However, I'm fond of the hospitality industry especially in hotel-Room Services department. I like to do room decoration. Not only that, provide a perfect room and see guests happy face is a great feeling. As someone who has no ambition, my goal is to do my very best in any sector I choose. Lets wish I will be an excellent engineer and do many contribution for MALAYSIA.

After SPM, I got 2 offer, from MOE (Math in UK) and FELDA (Engineerg in Aussie). I love Math but I dont want become a teacher. Why? Because of cheap salary and risky. As a teacher, you are not only do teaching things but you need educate student about life and value. I'm afraid I do it wrongly and give negative impact to my students. Engineering also risky but you can gain a lot of money with the high salary. People may think I'm materialistik but frankly speaking I'm sick of having financial problem. I want to have a better life for my family and I our next generation have a proper life and better education. Sometimes, I imagine myself driving elegant car, wearing beautiful dress, and have a nice, stylo house. I can take my mother wherever she wants and fulfill any dream she has. Money is not everything so I will make sure not to become arrogance and forget my responsibility to my people and of course to ALLAH

Ramadhan kembali

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ramadhan kembali lagi..membawa sejuta rahmatNYA..
Apakah Ramadhan ku seperti Ramadhan terdahulu..sia2 malah menambh dosa??
atau mungkin dapat ku membawa erti baru dalam sejarah hidupku..
Adakah aku dapat mencari keampunanNYA atas timbunan dosa2 ku terdahulu??
ALLAH Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.
Tapi bisakah ampunku diterima andai aku masih hanyut..
masih lalai walau seribu kali kucuba berubah..
Segagah mungkin kulawan nafsu dan bisikan halus dr hati..
Sekuat mungkin kutaqwa kan diriku..
Tapi mengapa sehingga kini, imanku masih goyah..
Berubah seperti pasir pantai..
TanpaMU TUHANKU, siapalah aku..
jasad ini, nafas ini, hati ini, semua milikMU..
Sungguh tiada satu pun milikku..
Tapi mengapa diri ini tidak bersyukur, tidak menghargai pemberianMU??
Sebaliknya aku terus merintih menangisi dugaan yang kau beri..
Sehingga kini aku mencari erti hidupku..
bukankah sudah jelas di dalam KitabMU..
Hidupku adalah mencari keredhaanMU..
Terus sujud kepadaMU..
Sepanjang langkahku, kau taburkan keindahan dan kasihMU..
Namun apa yang kuberi, hanyalah racun..
Yang akhirnya memakan diriku, tanpa sedikitpun KAU terusik..

Mantera Beradu

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ManTera BeraDu by MAlique ft M.NasIr

Gerakkan Hati... Hati gerakkan...
Pandanglah aku.. aku lah dia..

kulitku tebal.. ku kebal.. ingatku kebal..
hanya berbual makan angin kembung perut mual...
resah dan tidak senang.. hidup tak pernah lenang..
ku schizo paranoia takut pecah tembelang

pecah tembelang... peta dah hilang...
bangau dah pulang... suara sumbang..

lidahku kaku tak selicin kuku
teman baikku buku
bini ku pena.. tak pernah lena
aku suka mengintai pantang ditenung
berakhir pertelingkahan dalaman
pasti belum

ikut gerak hati.. pena melayang
dilihat dua layang pandang
tak lah sekarang
takat meradang
tanya.. abang gedang, apa barang?
badan macam badang
main macam belakang parang

kuhunuskan keris musuh ada pistol
tradisi kekalkan adaptasi harus betul
tujuh baris keramat tujuh garis penamat
baik berpada biar jahat asal selamat

ramai saudaraku yang baik telah dipijak

awan mendung yang berarak
bawa tangis bawa resah
rebah rindu yang terkumpul
semua birat dan kalimah
semua janji yang terikat
lebur disisimu

yo ijazah terbaik datangnya dari jalanan
dari pengalaman bercakap dan bersalaman
konflik motivasi cuba medatasi
positif dan benci jadi inspirasi pagi

peduli itu interpretasi basi pekakkan sebelah
halang biar keduanya muka cantik
soalan bodoh yang ditanya jadi melodinya
lebih hina dari zina

lu bikin dosa ku bikin prosa
testosterone testarosa
citacita sosa kl kl kosa nostra
jalan berliku ku harung roller coaster
gah sentosa tiada penyesalan
luas pandangan jauh dah berjalan
tak sempurna masih ada kejanggalan
gagal merancang, merancang kegagalan

kucing bawa tidur rimau bawa igau
masuk tempat orang bawa otak bukan pisau

naik bukit angkuh cakap ayah jangan risau
turun bukit pucat dengar tiga miaww
kucing bawa tidur rimau bawa igau
masuk tempat orang bawa otak bukan pisau
tolak pintu gua tiga kerat tenaga
kosong tak dijaga sampai datang tiga naga
ingat nak berlaga tapi tak kan boleh menang
menang dengan otak tak mesti dengan pedang

sebelum jadi bangkai ikan koi renang renang
pura pura salah jawapan untuk naik berang
panggil lima kawan atau biar pergi laju
risaukan pekara remeh kita tak akan maju
muka sama hijau hati siapa tahu
merah dah menyala pasti mati siapa mahu
gagap tiga kali bercakap benar saja
bulan terang ramai yang keluar buat kerja

panjat pokok buluh cari tukun air terjun
naik sampai nampak dah terpegun turun
tiga ular ikut lompat atau paut
kalau lari mati jika jerut maut

puisi hati mu... hati mu puisi
palu hati ku palu hatiku

kulit tak besalin walau saling ganti baju
pandang sini pandang sini
ku berbahasa baku kata kata nahu
himpun jadi satu
mantera beradu dengan irama dan lagu

**I wondered what is the meaning of this song??hmmmm


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Its quite a long time since my last post. There is a lot of thing that I want to write but I dont know how to express everything happen in words. I think it is not because of language, it just me who cannot do it. The only way I know by using the lyrics and change it. The recent event in my life is PPOU project and Jejak Gemilang.


Thursday, July 31, 2008

Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi

Walau seribu kali

Ku ulang sendiri

Aku takkan tempuh lagi

Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi

Setelah ku berpaling

Dari pandanganMu

Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku

Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir

Subur dalam jiwaku

Agarku tetap bahagia

Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana

Aku tanpa cintaMu

Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya

Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi

Walau seribu kali

Ku ulang sendiri

Aku takkan tempuh lagi

Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi

Setelah ku berpaling

Dari pandanganMu

Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku

Masihkah ada sekelumit belas

Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan

Untukku berpaut dan bersandar

Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba

Untuk beroleh cintaMu

Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih

My yesterday

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Just watch Gossip Girl. A great story about trust, forgive and friendship.I really need friends to talk but they are not in sell.

I miss him,my best friend. Before he gone, I said something terrible and now I owe his forgiveness.
There is something that should be keep as a secret, for good. When he come back, I really hope he can forgive me.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

How can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life



I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upset me

There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most

We being so close

And having so much to say

But then watching you walk away

And never knowing

How this happened??

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doing it

It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old pictures and I’m alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

Between us, there is a thick wall

We became too far

And I can’t stand anymore

Living with this hurt..

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

The only solution..Is leaving you

Only one thing I ask,

Before it’s too late,

Forgive me and

Let me stay in your memory



Wednesday, June 18, 2008

[Donghae] idaero kkeutimyuhn gihwega uhbdamyuhn
Moduga teullyuhddago marhago issuh
[Ryeowook] comedy gateun sesange wootji mothal saramdeul nuhnduhriga na

[All] don’t! don! modeun ge don sesang won ane gadhin nuh what is your mind
[Kibum] you outta control what is your mind
[All] jebal juwireul dorabwa juhlmangui nunbichi boijanha
[Kibum] stop bangin’ my head my eyes gone red

[Sungmin] juhmjuhm muhruhjineunguhl geudaero chungbunhan sesang
Imi gajinguhllo da gippeunsesang
[Geng] kkumkkuduhn saramdeuri hanadoolsshik dduhnabuhryuhdo [heechul] byunhaji anhne

[Eunhyuk + shin dong] the world is mine naega ee segyeui buhbiya
Geudeuri haengbokhagimaneul gidaryuhsseul ddae
[Eunhyuk+kibum] uhneu nuguboda muhnjuh gihwereul jabeun gushil ppun
Yakjareul wihan baeryuh ddawin juhldae uhbsuh

[Siwon] naui boolkkocheul da taewuhsuhrado pogihal soo uhbsuh
[Kyuhyun] juhdeurui guhshi anin woori aideurui sesangeul wihaesuhramyuhn

[eunhyuk] geuraedo nuhmu wuhnmang hajima naega anya
Sesangi nuhl geuruhke mandeunguhya

[Leeteuk + heechul] naega wuhnhaedduhn guhn naneun modu gajyuh
Sesangi nareul wemyuhn hayuhdo nungwa gwireul makgo
Uhjiruhpge mandeuruh buhril
Juhkdanghan muhriwa doni jogeum piryohal ppoon

[Kangin] naui boolkkocheul da taewuhsuhrado jikyuhjugo shipuh
[Yesung] hwandonui shidae kkeute saragaya hal nae aireul wihaesuhramyuhn

[All] don’t! don! modeun ge don sesang won ane gadhin nuh what is your mind
[Kibum] you outta control what is your mind
[All] jebal juwireul dorabwa juhlmangui nunbichi boijanha
[Kibum] stop bangin’ my head my eyes gone red

[All] don’t! don! ijen geuman jom hae
Wisuhnui gamyuhndo buhsuhbuhryuh

[Eunhyuk] buhsuhbuhryuh ni gashigui gamyuhndo
[All] modu gidarigo issuh majimak baraemdo buhrijima
[Eunhyuk] duhnjyuhbuhryuh ni geu gashigui gamyuhndo

[HeeChul] super junior!!!


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I was sleep when Sapura told me "We're not going to fly this year!!!". I thought if I had a bad dream. Just after I wake up, I'm looking for explanation from her and I found that Ila was there too. "What happening?" Sapura then show me email from Pn. Naimah send to Azan. The last statement really hurt me; none of uniten student (Felda Scholar) will fly this year, they will fly next year due to the lateness of IKAL information. After read that, I feel like a fire burning in my heart.
It is not easy for me to accept thing like I must fly this year and I had to make the preparation in 1 month. I tried so hard telling myself that I will survive even I'm alone. Now, I'm ready to fly this year. I had apply for New Zealand's university for sem 2 enrolment. I had pay for accomodation in Auckland. I had register for IELTS next week (only 2 days to study). Tomorrow IDP will come yet I dont know for what sem I'm going to apply. Everything so blur. Now, I got headache and I feel so numb. The fire in my heart suddenly replace by ice and everything so cold. I'm not angry anymore but I'm confused. I hope I will not fall sick today.

My Brain's Gone Missing

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Do you ever experience forgetting name of someone that you face every day? Well, I do. I always forgot other people name and it takes me a few minutes to recall my memories. It was a classic example of LBS (Lost Brain Syndrome) a terrifying age-related phenomena that strikes when it's likely to cause maximum humiliation. This symptom always occur for those in the fag end of their twenties but it may happen to us.
It's easy to conjure up useless stuff like the words to crap songs and the name of presenters from TV shows,but faces, names and appointments can be real struggle. Psychologist Dr David Benton from University of Wales reassures us; " Everybody thinks they are forgetful. It's the nature of the memory that the only way you can function is to lose the vast majority of what you experience. Maybe so, but some people seems to getting worse, Kim ,29-years old PA says: I'm definitely getting scattier. I walked to work recently with the back of my skirt wedged into my tights like some crazy bag lady. A police car actually stopped and pointed it out! I never used to be such ditz."



World champion Dominic O'Brien believes everyone can turbo-charge their memory,whatever their age. "You might exercises your body to fight the flab, but you should set aside 10 minutes a day to stimulate your mind too," he says. You can play SUDOKU, PUZZLE, RIDDLE or calculus exercises (hahaha). It is not only train your brain but also fun.


Recall thrives on strong visualization so develop your imagination. Dominic O'Brien recommends: "Think of house you used to live in and go on mental journey around it. Imagine the smells, the sound of creaking doors and how the wallpaper felt. Then practice it in different places,". However, for day-dreamer like me, I like to create a story (even sometimes it's not logic) in my mind also the dialogs and the progress of the story.


Although it sounds weird, making a slightly surreal connection with an everyday object stimulates your brain significantly. Try this out : picture different obscure items in different rooms in your house. Start in the bedroom, imagine a giant loaf of bread on the end of your bread . Next, you go to the bathroom and there's milk coming from the taps.It's look like you are in the Alice world. Try this to five items and gradually build up. Believe me it really works!

*** I need to get back to my work so I will continue in some other time. My final exam next week and I hope I can answer the papers easily..



Monday, May 26, 2008


Mereka yang tidak menyukainya menyebutnya tanggung jawab,
Mereka yang bermain dengannya, menyebutnya sebuah permainan,
Mereka yang tidak memilikinya, menyebutnya sebuah impian,
Mereka yang mencintai, menyebutnya takdir.

Kadang Tuhan yang mengetahui yang terbaik, akan memberi kesusahan untuk
menguji kita.
Kadang Ia pun melukai hati, supaya hikmat-Nya bisa tertanam dalam.

Jika kita kehilangan cinta, maka pasti ada alasan di baliknya. Alasan yang
kadang sulit untuk dimengerti, namun kita tetap harus percaya bahawa ketika
Ia mengambil sesuatu, Ia telah siap memberi yang lebih baik.

Mengapa menunggu?

Kerana walaupun kita ingin mengambil keputusan, kita tidak ingin tergesa-gesa.

Kerana walaupun kita ingin cepat-cepat, kita tidak ingin sembrono.

Kerana walaupun kita ingin segera menemukan orang yang kita cintai, kita tidak ingin kehilangan jati diri

Jika ingin berlari, belajarlah berjalan dahulu,
Jika ingin berenang, belajarlah mengapung dahulu,
Jika ingin dicintai, belajarlah mencintai dahulu.

Pada akhirnya, lebih baik menunggu orang yang kita inginkan, ketimbang memilih apa yang ada.

Tetap lebih baik menunggu orang yang kita cintai, ketimbang memuaskan diri dengan apa yang ada.

Tetap lebih baik menunggu orang yang tepat,

Kerana hidup ini terlampau singkat untuk dilewatkan bersama pilihan yang
salah, kerana menunggu mempunyai tujuan yang mulia dan misterius.

Perlu kau ketahui bahwa Bunga tidak mekar dalam waktu semalam,
Kota Roma tidak dibangun dalam sehari,
Kehidupan dirajut dalam rahim selama sembilan bulan,
Cinta yang agung terus bertumbuh selama kehidupan.

Kebanyakan hal yang indah dalam hidup memerlukan waktu yang lama, Dan
penantian kita tidaklah sia-sia.

Walaupun menunggu membutuhkan banyak hal - iman, keberanian, dan pengharapan- penantian menjanjikan satu hal yang tidak dapat seorangpun bayangkan.

Pada akhirnya. Tuhan dalam segala hikmat-Nya, meminta kita menunggu, kerana
alasan yang penting.

sumber: Cetivasti

P/S : Because I'm busy to write so I take it from Cetivasti. However, I adjust some of the content especially the language. Some words from me :

"ALLAH answers prayer in 3 ways ;
ALLAH says yes, and give you what you want,
ALLAH says no, and give you something better,
ALLAH says wait, and give you the best."

Kisah IBU

Sunday, May 25, 2008


sy terima ni dari mel seorang kawan...

berdasarkan kisah benar...


Memang sukar untuk orang lain percaya,tapi itulah yang berlaku. Ibu saya memang seorang pembohong!! Sepanjang ingatan saya sekurang-kurangnya 8 kali ibu membohongi saya. Saya perlu catatkan segala pembohongan itu untuk dijadikan renungan anda sekalian.

Cerita ini bermula ketika saya masih kecil. Saya lahir sebagai seorang anak lelaki dalam sebuah keluarga miskin. Makan minum serba kekurangan. Kami sering kelaparan. Adakalanya, selama beberapa hari kami terpaksa makan berlaukkan ikan masin dikongsi satu keluarga.

Sebagai anak yang masih kecil, saya sering saja merungut. Saya menangis mahukan nasi dan lauk yang banyak. Tapi ibu cepat memujuk. Ketika makan, ibu sering membahagikan bahagian nasinya untuk saya. Sambil memindahkan
nasi ke mangkuk saya, ibu berkata : ""Makanlah nak ibu tak lapar." -

Ketika saya mulai besar ibu yang gigih sering meluangkan watu senggangnya untuk pergi memancing di tali air berhampiran rumah. Ibu berharap dari ikan hasil pancingan itu dapat memberikan sedikit makanan untuk membesarkan kami adik-beradik.Pulang dari memancing, ibu memasak gulai ikan yang segar dan mengundang selera.

Sewaktu saya memakan gulai ikan itu ibu duduk disamping kami dan memakan sisa daging ikan yang masih menempel
di tulang daripada bekas sisa ikan yang saya makan tadi. Saya sedih
melihat ibu seperti itu. Hati saya tersentuh lalu dengan menggunakan
sudu saya memberikan ikan itu kepada ibu. Tetapi ibu dengan cepat
menolaknya. Ibu berkata : "Makanlah nak, ibu tak suka makan ikan." -

Di usia awal remaja, saya masuk sekolah menengah. Ibu pergi ke kedai dengan membawa sejumlah penyapu lidi dan kuih-muih untuk menyara persekolahan saya,abang dan kakak. Suatu dinihari lebih kurang pukul 1.30 pagi saya terjaga dari tidur.

Saya melihat ibu membuat kuih denagn beremankan sebuah pelita di hadapannya. Beberapa kali saya melihat kepala ibu terhangguk kerana mengantuk. Saya berkata : "Ibu, tidurlah, esok pagi ibu kena pergi kebun pula." Ibu tersenyum dan berkata : "Cepatlah tidur nak, ibu belum mengantuk lagi." - PEMBOHONGAN IBU YANG KETIGA.

Di hujung musim persekolahan, ibu meminta cuti kerja supaya dapat menemani saya pergi ke sekolah untuk menduduki peperiksaan penting. Ketika hari sudah siang, terik panas matahari mulai menyinari, ibu terus sabar menunggu saya di luar dewan.

Ibu seringkali saja tersenyum dan mulutnya terkumat-kamit berdoa kepada Illahi agar saya lulus ujian peperiksaan ini dengan cemerlang. Ketika loceng berbunyi menandakan ujian sudah selesai, ibu dengan segera menyambut saya dan menuangkan kopi yang sudah disiapkan
dalam botol yang dibawanya.

Kopi yang kental itu tidak dapat dibandingkan dengan kasih saying ibu yang jauh lebih kental. Melihat tubuh ibu yang dibasahi peluh, saya segera memberikan cawan saya itu kepada ibu dan menyuruhnya minum. Tapi ibu cepat-cepat menolaknya dan berkata :
"Minumlah nak, ibu tak haus!!" - PEMBOHONGAN IBU YANG KEEMPAT.

Setelah pemergian ayah kerana sakit, iaitu selepas saya baru beberapa bulan dilahirkan, ibulah yang mengambil tugas sebagai ayah kepada kami sekeluarga. Ibu bekerja mengambil upah di kebun, membuat penyapu lidi dan menjual kuih-muih agar kami tidak kelaparan.

Tapi apalah sangat kudrat seorang ibu. Kehidupan keluarga kami semakin susah dan susah. Melihat keadaan keluarga yang semakin parah, seorang pakcik yang baik hati dan tinggal berjiran dengan kami, datang untuk membantu ibu.

Anehnya, ibu menolak bantuan itu. Jiran-jiran sering kali menasihati ibu supaya menikah lagi agar ada seorang lelaki yang akan menjaga dan mencarikan wang untuk kami sekeluarga.

Tetapi ibu yang keras hatinya tidak mengendahkan nasihat mereka. Ibu berkata : "Saya tidak perlukan cinta saya tidak perlukan lelaki." - PEMBOHONGAN IBU YANG KELIMA.

Setelah kakak dan abang habis belajar dan mula bekerja, ibu sudah pun tua. Kakak dan abang menyuruh ibu supaya berehat sahaja di rumah. Tidak payahlah lagi bersusah payah dan bersengkang mata untuk mencari duit. Tetapi ibu tidak mahu.

Ibu rela pergi ke pasar setiap pagi menjual sedikit sayur untuk memenuhi keperluan hidupnya.Kakak dan abang yang bekerja jauh di kota besar sering mengirimkan wang untuk membantu memenuhi keperluan ibu, pun begitu ibu tetap berkeras tidak mahu menerima wang tersebut.

Malahan ibu mengirim balik wang itu dan ibu berkata : "Jangan susah-susah,ibu ada duit." - PEMBOHONGAN IBU YANG KEENAM.

Setelah tamat pengajian di universiti, saya melanjutkan lagi pelajaran ke peringkat sarjana di luar Negara. Pengajian saya di sana dibiayai
sepenuhnya oleh sebuah syarikat besar. Sarjana itu saya sudahi dengan cemerlang,kemudian saya pun bekerja dengan syarikat yang telah membiayai pengajian saya juga di luar negara.

Dengan gaji yang agak lumayan, saya berhajat membawa ibu untuk menikmati penghujung hidupnya di luar negara.
Pada pandangan saya, ibu sudah puas bersusah payah untuk kami. Hampir seluruh hidupnya habis dengan penderitaan, eloklah kalau hari-hari tuanya ini ibu habiskan dengan keceriaan dan keindahan pula. Tetapi ibu yang baik hati, menolak ajakan saya.

Ibu tidak mahu menyusahkan anaknya ini dengan
berkata ; "Tak payahlah, ibu tak biasa tinggal di negara orang." -

Beberapa tahun berlalu, ibu semakin tua. Suatu malam saya menerima berita ibu diserang penyakit kanser. Ibu mesti dibedah secepat mungkin. Saya yang ketika itu berada jauh diseberang samudera terus segera pulang untuk menjenguk ibunda tercinta.

Saya melihat ibu terbaring lemah di katil hospital setelah menjalani pembedahan. Ibu yang kelihatan sangat tua, menatap ajah saya dengan penuh kerinduan.

Ibu menhadiahkan saya sebuah senyuman biarpun agak kaku kerana terpaksa menahan sakit yang menjalari setiap inci tubuhnya. Saya dapat melihat dengan jelas betapa penyakit itu telah memamah tubuh ibu sehingga ibu menjadi terlalu lemah dan kurus.

Saya menatap wajah ibu sambil berlinangan air mata. Saya cium tangan ibu kemudian saya kecup pula pipi dan dahinya. Di saat itu hati saya terlalu pedih, sakit sekali melihat ibu dalam keadaan seperti ini. Tetapi ibu tetap tersenyum dan berkata : "Jangan menangis nak, ibu tak sakit." -PEMBOHONGAN IBU YANG KELAPAN.

Setelah mengucapkan pembohongan yang kelapan itu, ibunda tercinta menutup matanya untuk kali terakhir kali.

Anda bertuah kerana masih mempunyai ibu dan ayah. Anda boleh memeluk dan menciumnya. Kalau ibu anda jauh dari mata, anda boleh menelefonnya sekarang, dan berkata, 'Ibu,saya sayangkan
ibu.' Tapi tidak saya.

Sehingga kini saya diburu rasa bersalah yang amat sangat kerana biarpun saya mengasihi ibu lebih dari segala-galanya, tapi
tidak pernah sealipun saya membisikkan kata-kata itu ke telinga ibu,
sampailah saat ibu menghembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir.

maafkan saya. Saya sayangkan ibu.

semoga menjadi iktibar buat kita


Journey to KLCC

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Yesterday, I went to KLCC with Adib n Pura. Its actually last minute decision after somebdy said bout PC Fair in KLCC. I really want to go there coz in my whole life I never attend PC Fair and I'm looking for Antivirus.

Then, at 3.45 adib started her wira engine. Our first paln was to take a train but suddenly we too lazy, so, 'redah jer...'. None of us know the way but fortunately KL had many signboard. We just follow KLCC signbo
ard. Adib drove, Pura n I gave direction 'confidently'. Everything so smooth until we didnt see any KLCC signboard. What to do? Pura likely to give up so I take charge.

"Adib, kita tuju jer pusat bandaraya," and with a little brave ( I tried so hard to act cool so adib can calm down ). As addition, we didnt see KLCC at all, even its shadow. Soon, the bright came at the time our eyes catched Jalan Tun Razak signboard. Then we meet Jalan Bukit Bintang and Times Square, that means KLCC just around the corner.

However, the road a bit busy but I believe in Adib skill's. She a good driver,though. After bout 45 minutes battle, we safely arrived KLCC. I'm so proud ( hahahaha,lihatlah dunia ).
Our first direction definitely convention centre. Guess what? The PC Fair had closed day before!! Waaa.... tension!! We walked around and wonder our next activity. Back to Uniten? Unwise decision becoz KL JAM! Well, you know KL at 5 pm. Aha, got idea, watch movie.

"The chronicle of Narnia- Price Caspian" make me happy again even I dislike its ending. They should stay and be together, so cruel ( watch if you want to know why, hehe.. lu pikir lah sendiri ).
We going back at 8.30 ( I thinklah..forgot already ) and I just sat at back silently and ate apple. Why? Well, a secret makes a woman,wman ( dont want to discuss bout it ). They followed Putrajaya signboard and after approximately 30 minutes we realised we LOST! When we stopped at Shell ( isi minyak, in english? ) I felt that I shouldnt let Adib and Pura so I decide to talk.

Firstly, we just go straight. Actually we at Seri Kembangan area so I belief that Uniten just close by ( Bro at shell doesnt know what is Uniten..how dare him ). Then we meet KL signboard, Adib and I agree to use that way. We finally saw Serdang lama and UPM signboard. Pura also saw Mines apartment ( the roof looks like pagoda). Yes, we FINALLY arrived in Uniten at 10 pm ( hohohoho ).

When think back bout our journey, actually our journey of life just like it. Whatever things we do, do it confidently, never hesitate but must have think about it rationally. We must believe other people just like Adib believe in me and Pura ( thanks adib ) but also with rational reason. Of course, we cannot be so naive to believe everything, depend in circumtances. Every step that we take have the consequences so dare to accept it ,and never blame other people just because you dont want to feel bad. Another thing is, keep in
silent and let people do the decision for you while you not make any effort is WRONG. You will lost control of yourself and living with no soul. My life journey always make me think about myself and people around me and teach me how to survive. Last but not least

"Be formless..shapeless like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put the wa
ter into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, and it can crash. Be water my friend..." BRUCE LEE

" Be calm in strain, like water.
Be warm in heart, like fire.

Be smooth in act, like wind.
Be firm in truth, like earth.
Light will reach you and promise a better tomorrow . "
P/S : Thanks to Yi Xiang coz translate it into mandarin language.

Monday, May 12, 2008

I just finished watch one good drama entitled "The Prince Who Turn Into a Frog". Drama is the performance of human life and it being created by somebody but it may happen in the real life.
I'm going to elaborate some of the characters that I think interesting.

Shan Jun Hao (Ming Dao)- Hero and also devil because almost all things happen because of his attitude e.g. arrogant, conceited and selfish. As a heir of SENWELL ORGANISATION,his family very wealthy. In the contacts of work, he is very good and hardworking but in the human values he fails. However, he get a chance to change when one day someone crash him with car. He lost his memory (amnesia) and saved by Ye Tian Yu (heroin), a girl that he hate before. Living in small village, and have a simple and honest life, the arrogant Shan Jun Hao becomes Dang O (new name that Tian Yu gives), very helpful, kind and always smile. Dang O is a person that will do anything for one that he loves and he never look down people around him, big contrast than Jun Hao. Everybody loves Dang O and even me admire his character. Yes, Jun Hao smarter and have a firm principle but he lacks of good values and that the reason why Dang O 100 times better than him. Unfortunately, Jun Hao discover and forget everything that happen to him when he is Dang O. He returns to his old life but unconciosly, Dang O still in his heart and slowly, Jun Hao changed. He did many good things and he didnot know it. People around him especially his workers notice that the strict Shan Jun Hao becomes kind and he now listen to his worker's opinion. The scene that I think Jun Hao is a superb when he suddenly the secret of his friend parents death reveal. His father cheated and killed somebody to have SENWELL. Jun Hao then cast away from SENWELL and in a blink of eyes he becomes poor. What I respect is the way he handled his emotion and he is very calm. The way the character grows very interesting and it shows us, we must accept change if it is good for everyone and never look down other people when you are at the high position.
---I want to congratulate Ming Dao because he can bring the two different character looks alive. His act really amuse and toward the end we can see both Jun Hao and Dang O in one soul.
---Well, I need to do my homework so I will continue with other character on the other day. Ummmm.. one more thing Ming Dao so handsome n ke ai...Wo shi huang ni !!!


I like green...so fresh
-perfectionist and fussy
- I love anime especially TSUBASA RESERVOIRS
- I like countryside n I hate city..komenasai
-Very lazy girl..
-Very ego n always stand for my pride..


- being alone
- worm n any type of insects
- devil especially when i'm alone in my room
- death
- become lazy to stdy
- lost people that I love

- Yes sir / lathal trap from 5566
- secret cant tell - Jay Chou
- Chiisana Tenohira - Aqua Timez
-Buat aku tersenyum - Sheila on 7
-Breath easy - Blue
- OST 'My Best Pals'
-Zhen Ai - 183 Clubs

- sengal..haha
- pelik...or dlm bhs cina 'qi kuai'
- pu yau tang xin
- ye kot..kotlah
- malasnye nak stdy...huhu
- bongek
- ke ai..ooo...


- Myself..hihi
- my anime...
- Shaoran...ehem2
- My laptop..I cant live without it..
- My pride n my ego
- Sudoku book
- MP4..cant go without it even no battery..hehe

- Eat japanese food also wasabi...wasabi taste is sooooo terrible
- walk in KL alone n evry place 1st time 4 me..cuakkkk..
- play bowling..and my ball slip from hand be4 I throw it..malunyeee
- sleep alone...huhuhu
- Eat chicken chop n fish&chip
- play sudoku
- blogging,facebook, frenster..well I dnt hve intnt connction at home...orang kampunglah ktakan


There's a hero
if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid
of what you are.
There's an answer
if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know
will melt away.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on

and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone

look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tomorrow.
In time you'll find the way.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.

So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

That a hero lies in you,
that a hero lies in you.


Wednesday, May 7, 2008






Incentive money,effective or not?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

In times of high unemployment,employers need do very little to encourage their staff to work hard,but when job vacancies are scarce,they have to find effective ways of rewarding their staff in order to stop them from going elsewhere.

One obvious way is giving them money as a reward. I do believe this way can encourage the receiver will work harder and in the same time another workers get inspire to work hard to get the intencieve money. Besides that, it shows the good qualities of a manager that responsible and appreciate his or her workers.

However, the practice of giving money can have a bad impact to others especially when there is a workers good at lobbying th.eir boss more than completing their works. In reality, the employer will be bias to another workers and also show their weak principle.

Another tactics to couraging the employee is by giving awards such as 'Employee of the Year' or held a party for everyone from cleaner to manager. The occasion strengthen the bond among workers and also create happy working environment. As the result, the company quality will be increase and of course will bring great profit for the company. This is clearly win-win situation.

Basically, employees want to be recognised for their contribution-whether through receiving money or awards. They also need to feel that their contribution to the whole organisation is worthwhile. Good management recognises this need and responds appropiately

Monday, April 28, 2008

When I look outside my window
in the inaudible evening
listening to romantic song
I wonder..
one day maybe after 10 years..
facing the same evening
what will I feel?
Is it like what I feel today
so calm...
so easy...
thinking what will happen
really get me in a flap
Tomorrow will never be the same
What colour should I put in
make my world
beautiful day by day..

Friday, February 22, 2008

Miss lonely, the best to describe me now. Not because I'm longing for love from a man but love for my friends. Lately, I realise that they dont really care about me especially the closest friend I had here, A (not a real name). Its difficult for me to describe the way she treat me nowadays. Well, I'm appearantly look so cool and hardless but the truth is I'm very sensitive. I just recovered from fever. What make me feel to cry is when my friends just worried I'm sick and cannot present our project. They just worried they had to do that job. Day after that, I didnt attend my class which is from 8.00 am until 6.00 pm. During lunch, none of them backed home and send me food. "Maybe they were run out of time", that what I think and I waited them backed at 6.00pm and to keep my stomach make a band in it (I'm so hungry), I ate maggie mee. Unfortunately, they didnt invite me for dinner and they go without my knowledge. Maybe they afraid I'm so sick to go, but after that they backed with their food. How can they ignored a sick people like me with empty stomach. That night I just drink milk. Is that the meaning of friendship? We laugh together but why I have to cry under blanket. Its much better if I dont have a friend at all than to be hurt like this. Many things happend actually but I have to study because I get a test and quiz tomorrow. Bye, and my advice, appreciate your friends before you lost them.