Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'm afraid and I'm trying to ignore it..
I dont have the courage
I know I need help but I dont know where to get it..

I try to tell others bout what I feel but not at the full extent...
I really dont know what to do..
This fear start controlling my life...

What I really afraid of..I dont know

is that only electronic or actually the future?
If I cant conquer the basic electronic, my future will be doom because I'm an electrical engineering student
its ridiculous to be afraid of circuits and wires..i know thats not what i'm afraid of.

what I really fear?

Today I have a lab experiment, if I absence again like i did half of the time, I'll fail this subject.
FELDA will be furious.
I have to face all this, I know but i'm afraid

everytime I think or face anythg about electronic,
my hand shaking
my eyes teary
my face pale
my brain cant think anything
i feel helpless
i feel so afraid
like falling in a deep dark sea

Only I can overcome this but I need courage
A real courage, that I believe had leaving myself
I need someone to help me be strong again
strong enough to fight this fear
but everyone is too busy
mending their own business
of coz,for their own survival
we are indeed alone in this world

My sleep time is increase...
i know why
because i cant face the reality
i rather live in dream world

this stress make me hard to fall asleep
even harder to wake up.

I need help..I cant say it with my mouth,its difficult to express my feeling in front of others.

God, help me before this fear consume all of me and I have nothing to live on...

Human in Me

Monday, May 23, 2011

Under the shadow of the night
I found the human in me

An ordinary human
that question the meaning of life
the meaning of my own existence.

Do I like a wind? complete yet empty
Maybe a star, luminious just from a far.

I stand on my ground
I seek advice, only when I intent to abide
I seek truth, at time of courage
Do I resemble earth? or perhaps sand?

When there is no more hope
I wrapped by fear
Let I shed bloods, tears and sweat
than surrender to devil.

The human in me
lacerate my heart
As I live myself in ignorant

**This poem is a mess just like me.

My Korean Idol

Monday, May 16, 2011

Korean wave had hit many countries. Boy/girl band or rather call idol grows like mushrooms after the rain. However, my favorite idol from many years ago until now will always be DBSK/TVXQ.

DBSK or in hangul Dong Bang Shin Ki made their debut on December 26, 2003 during a Boa and Britney Spears showcase, where they performed their debut single "Hug" and an acapella rendition of "O Holy Night" with BoA but thats not the first time I watch DBSK.

I start my korean wave when I was 14 years old and the big fan of Won Bin (merely because of his face at that time). Year later, I fall in love with Korean drama 'Lovers in Paris', the highest rating korean drama until now. Since then, I watch many korean drama and listen to many korean songs.

The first idol group I like is Super Junior but because of their inconsistency during live performance I stop listen to them. I prefer a singers that can sing better in live compare to studio version. DBSK is the answer of my yearning.

DBSK not only consist of 5 gorgeous guys. If you think handsome dude cant sing well, you should listen to DBSK songs. You will be impress!!Member of DBSK :

Yunho(leader), Jaejoong,YooChun, Junsu and Changmin. All of them have a different voices and you can distinct their voices without watching them perform.

Yunho is the base and he usually sing bottom part and rap. As a leader, Yunho is the representive of the group and many people said Yunho has the charisma as the leader and always protect his group member.

Jaejoong has a very great voice and you can see how much his voice grow after many years. Its hard to describe his voice but how I see it is, in ballad song, Jaejoong voice can melt your heart. its so smooth and fascinating. When hit a high note, Jaejoong can go really high. He is a versatile singer, ballad or rock, he can deliver it really well only sometimes he need to control his voice. Having a beautiful yet manly face also smashing body, make Jaejoong full package singer.

Yoochun, I can say he had a very unique voice. At first, I dont think he can sing but then after listening more to his part, I think his voice very attractive. I really love him when he hit high note. His voice become husky and when he sings together with Jaejoong, their voice blend really well.

Junsu. Well, since the beginning Junsu really perform very well. His voice can go very low and very high. He can really control his voice and that make him a very good singer.

Changmin, the youngest but the most powerful especially when he hits high note. SM(their company) always give high part (or scream part) to Changmin and he never fail to deliver it. Sometimes I feel sorry to Changmin, he must feel tired. Eventhough his good at that part, he can sing really well and a great singer like other member. Changmin also has a model bodybuild. He is tall and charming.

Overall, DBSK is the best korean Idol I ever come across. Their harmony everytime they sing together is undeniable. You can see their energy in their dance, and sincerity in their singing. They deliver every sing full heartedly without thinking about their image and appearance.

The best Group ever, and my Favorite Group ever DBSK!!

***I never learn bout music or vocal, the comment is basedly on my feeling and thinking.

My world

Saturday, May 14, 2011

i've been living this world according to myself. Regardless of others, i make my own decision.

When my little world tremble,there is no one to blame except myself, and it makes me feel so lonely.

Things getting difficult day by day. I wish I have someone to lean on....