Fear

I'm afraid and I'm trying to ignore it..
I dont have the courage
I know I need help but I dont know where to get it..

I try to tell others bout what I feel but not at the full extent...
I really dont know what to do..
This fear start controlling my life...

What I really afraid of..I dont know

is that only electronic or actually the future?
If I cant conquer the basic electronic, my future will be doom because I'm an electrical engineering student
its ridiculous to be afraid of circuits and wires..i know thats not what i'm afraid of.

what I really fear?

Today I have a lab experiment, if I absence again like i did half of the time, I'll fail this subject.
FELDA will be furious.
I have to face all this, I know but i'm afraid

everytime I think or face anythg about electronic,
my hand shaking
my eyes teary
my face pale
my brain cant think anything
i feel helpless
i feel so afraid
like falling in a deep dark sea

Only I can overcome this but I need courage
A real courage, that I believe had leaving myself
I need someone to help me be strong again
strong enough to fight this fear
but everyone is too busy
mending their own business
of coz,for their own survival
we are indeed alone in this world

My sleep time is increase...
i know why
because i cant face the reality
i rather live in dream world

this stress make me hard to fall asleep
even harder to wake up.

I need help..I cant say it with my mouth,its difficult to express my feeling in front of others.

God, help me before this fear consume all of me and I have nothing to live on...