Bicara seorang lelaki

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Aku mendengar khabar,
hadir seorang lelaki,
yang punya kuasa
membuat semua lidah terkelu
terbuai dengan suaranya

Lalu aku pergi melihat dia,
berdiri teguh,
di tengah ramai.

Disaat semua mata memandang,
kerdil dirinya,
namun besar wibawa
menegakkan kata-kata
menyangkal semua keraguan.

Terpasuk aku pada petahnya,
pada pandangan mata menerobos sanubari
dalam kagum dan iri
kini aku mengerti
maksud kata

Tegas saat menyatakan kebenaran,
lembut saat menanyakan perkhabaran.

Aku melihat seorang lelaki
diamnya mencermin kesepian
sepi dalam pujian
sunyi dalam godaan
kerna ada
yang memuja tanpa melihat
yang menyinta tanpa menerima.

Dia hamba yang Maha Bijaksana
kupuji bukan memuja
kusuka bukan menyinta
sekadar menyingkap kekaguman
pada fasih bicara
seorang lelaki yang jarang kutemui.

Personality- being INTJ

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Have you done any personality test? Well, I did and based on the analysis from my answers, I am an INTJ. So what is it INTJ?

Basically, in psychology there are two main personality model being used widely, which is Big Five Personality Model and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Big five personality model consist of five main category of personality trait; extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness to experience, and conscientiousness.

Meanwhile, The MBTI is a psychometric questionnaire designed based on "psychological types" book (published in 1921) by Carl Jung that stated that our personality can be divided to 4 principals of psychological function; intuitive, sensation, thinking and feeling. The questionnaire is mean to test our way of perceiving the world and making decisions.

I did my MBTI from If you interested in doing this test, I recommend this website because it provides a very good explanation which include the strength percentage on each psychological function. As for me, my personality type is INTJ.

What is INTJ? INTJ stands for Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging. Some websites mentioned INTJ as The Masterminds while others call it The Scientist. Moreover, according to the research, INTJ type is the rarest in 16 types of MBTI and only represents 1-4% of populations. What is INTJ and what so rare about them.

INTJs are well known to be perfectionist and have high self-confidence. They easily mistaken to be arrogant for some people. Their self confidence due to their huge archive of knowledge in many different topics and area in which they build in early childhood and they usually given a nickname - bookworm. Their thirst of knowledge in any topics that spark their interest will make them a very difficult person to argue with as they done a lot of research, reading and thinking on the topic and very confidence on their knowledge. However what really unique about INTJ is they know what they know and know what they DONT know. When they master knowledge in their chosen topic, they can quickly and honestly say whether they know the answer or not. If they know, they will answer confidently. They are very decisive, insightful and original thus make people to accept their ideas simply because of sheer willpower and self-confidence. However, they not keen to fame and attention so they always keep opinion to themselves if the topic does not interest them that much.

INTJs are usually curious in many things but limited by their cold-blooded filter called "does it going to work". This produce an unusual independence minds freeing them from the constraint of authority, convention, sentiment and remain in rational territory.

In term of leadership, INTJ personalities also often shoulder the burden of making important decisions without consulting their peers. They are natural leaders and excellent strategists, but willingly give way to others vying for a leadership position, usually people with Extroverted personalities (E personality type). However, such action can be deceptive and maybe even calculated. An INTJ will retreat into the shadows, maintaining their grip on the most important decisions – but as soon as the leader fails and there is a need to take the steering wheel, the INTJ will not hesitate to act, maybe even while staying in the background. The INTJ personality is the ultimate “Man behind the curtain”.

Every personality type has many weak spots and INTJs are not an exception. There is one area where their brilliant mind often becomes completely useless and may even hinder their efforts – INTJs find it very difficult to handle romantic relationships, especially in their earliest stages. People with this personality type are more than capable of loving and taking care of the people close to them, but they are likely to be completely clueless when it comes to attracting a partner. The emotions of an INTJ are hard to read, and neither male nor female INTJs are apt to express emotional reactions. At times, INTJs seem cold, reserved, and unresponsive, while in fact they are almost hypersensitive to signals of rejection from those they care for.

Harlan Ellison
The main reason behind this is that INTJ personalities are both private and incredibly rational – they find it very difficult to understand the complex social rituals that are considered part of the dating game, especially in Western societies. Things like flirting or small talk are unnatural to them; furthermore, INTJs (especially females) tend to see typical attraction tactics (such as feigning disinterest) as incredibly stupid and irrational. Ironically, INTJs are most likely to attract a partner when they stop looking for them – this is when their self-confidence starts shining again. There are few things that are more attractive than the unrelenting self-confidence that INTJs are known for.

To get a clear view of INTJ, there are few characters that possess INTJ traits such as Sherlock Holmes, Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, Gregory House from House M.D and more.


I have to admit that the analysis of INTJs was taken from few websites as I am not the expert on the subject. However, I can absolutely relate to every traits of INTJ. Besides, I took the test few times in different conditions just to be sure.

It is not easy to be INTJ. Many people that barely know me thought I am arrogant but the truth is I don't know what to say to them and I don't like to engage to a seemingly no purpose conversation. People always mistaken me as a heartless person and cold but I am not. Since I was a kid, I had learned to hide my emotions or to ignore sentiments that prove to be irrelevant. "bookworm" is definitely me! I really love reading book and i rather choose reading book than socializing with other people. For me, books are a window to a broader world and it always gives me satisfaction in knowing something new. As for leadership section, it is true I like having a power but that does not mean I like being a leader. Power means to have influence on decision making. When I involve in a group or a team for a mission or a program, at first, I will be very low profile and do less talking. I will observe every group member especially the group leader and if I find that the leader is capable on doing his or her work, I will let his or her do it. However, if they are not very good in steering the group to meet the purpose, I will take charge (but its all depends on my mood). There is one time that the leader is not capable but I every group member is very good in doing their work, so I just do mine without interfering the leader's role.

To conclude, I believe that every person in this world is unique. Even though, personality test can give a good insight in our self but we cannot rely on them. every personality model has its weakness because it is a theory that created by human and it all depends on psychologist way of thinking, personality and environment. So where can we find a perfect personality model that really fit every individual? We cannot! what important is to always be true to ourselves and try to improve our behavior everyday. Remember, we are the best creation created by our creator, Allah so we should behave like one!

A thousands word

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

If you can only have 1000 words before you die, what you gonna says?

Words can be like a sword in a fight,
Words can be like a rain in a hot day,
Its beauty lies on the mouth of the speaker and the heart of receiver.

 A spoken words can never be taken back, all you can do is offering explanation and apologize if needed.

In this digital world, even what we update in status or comment can be count as spoken words. So, my friend, have you use your words wisely?

I think everyone can understand the effects of words in our live either positive or negative. In a case where people throw me a criticism, I will be in a moment of silence and reflect every words that they use and the intonation. Do they mean it? If they do, why?

What should I do next? fire up and blast them with my piece of mind? I like to remind my friends and I, "focus on the solution, not the problem","see it in the speaker's eyes than yours","empathy is an advantage". When people criticize or scold you, be optimist. It is wrong to deny everything as the tree wont sway if not for a wind. It is also wrong to accept everything without judging the situation. Stay true to yourself even there is some part of you want to stick to conformity.  Every person and individual in this world is unique and Allah created us with partners. Means there is someone in this universe can understand you while others cannot. However, this is not a passport for behaving badly, breaking the laws with hope others can accept what you did.

There is some people with a personality trait that hard to express themselves through words. Sometimes we call them anti-social just because there hardly spoken anything but does it means they cant express themselves using words?maybe they can express better using written words than spoken words. So you see, its hard to judge people. Its hard to make their profile just base on their personality. Can you judge people based on their vocabulary. For example, an intellectual individual may choose a vast vocabulary to mirror their vast knowledge and vice versa. Its that mean, we can decide on people intelligence based on their words? A wise man always use a wiser words to share their wisdom.

Undeniably, words is not just a sentence, a ABC or grammar. Words is ourselves. We are what we say. Thus, if you want to be great man, use better words. Do not hurt people in purpose of discouraging to satisfy your inner selfishness because what you say today, will come back to you one day. Even if its not happen in this world, it may be happen in the hereafter as Allah already stated in Quran that every deed, either small or big will be punish or reward.

To all my friends, mind you words,its a mirror to your soul.

Being Introvert

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Being an introvert in a world require me to do presentation and a lot of group work is undeniably tiresome.
As an introvert, I live in my own world since I was a kid thus I have very lonely childhood. If you ask me,
what is my best memories of playing with friends, I cant answer it. I spent most of my childhood watching television or reading books and I love that world so much!

However my little world crumbles when I step up to university. During my time as a foundation student, there is few subject require me to present in front of the class. I have a great ability to explaining things to people but having to talk in front of everyone really scares me. and what bother me the most is the thrill before presentation. The nervousness  that so visible that people can see my hands shaking. There is one time, when I stand on the stage my whole body is shaking. I really hate it.

I thought this nervousness will be disappear if I got enough practice or after several presentation but it stays on. Sometime, it gets worse. Therefore, it is natural for me to hate presentation.

After foundation studies, I enrolled in local university taking Business Administration major in Human Resource Management. This program requires every student to have great social and presentation skills to prepare us for our career. That is  why there is presentation for every subject in every semester. WhaT!!! Frankly speaking, Im more worried for presentation rather than final examination. In final examination, I dont have to talk in front of everyone!

In Susan Cain's book entitled Quiet, she writes about being introvert in the world that cant stop talking. Everyone talk a lot. they talk in facebook, blog(like I did now, but you cant see my lip), twitter, wechat, kakao talk etc. Technology actually helps many introvert around the world deliver their thought without having to stand up on the stage, holding a  microphone and making eye contact with audience. What I really like about this book is not only  the tremendous researchs discussed in the book but also many advices given to the introvert to deliver a great speech. Firstly, accept and embrace who you are. Secondly, know your streangth and weaknesses. Thirdly, use it well.

I may not appear to be entertaining, happy-go-lucky and talkative like my fellow extrovert friends are, but I have abilities to understand things easily and quickly and explain it clearly to people. I also have vast knowledge in many different areas. and my weakness is the nausea and shaking feeling before and during presentation. So what I did is, I concentrate in every facts and theories on the topic, find examples that can help people understand. Then, I prepare and practice my presentation at home in front of myself and using mental imagery. Researching a lot of ways to improve my presentation skills and overcome glassophobia really help me along the way.

In conclusion, Being introvert is not an excuse to not giving a great presentation. Many great speaker in this world is introverts, they may rarely give speech but when they speak, they give IMPACT. So, my fellow introverts, be proud!