CryIng

Monday, June 22, 2009

Q:Why sarah's last post 'Dont cry'?
A:because she askg herself dont cry.

Q:Why r u asking like that?
A: Because her tears cannot stop falling from her eyes.

Q:but Why?
A:because that day is father's day.

Q:so?Isnt it a great day?
A:of course.

Q:hmm..are u sad?but still why?
A:because i cannt wish my father "happy father's day"

Q:where is ur father?
A:He far away.....in another world. he left me when I was 3.

Q:What should I do to comfort u?
A:nothing..just let me cry.dont say "sabarlah",dont say "ada hikmah disebaliknya", dont say "doakan kesejahteraan dia" n dont say "ini dugaan hidup"

Q:but why? All those sayg are true.
A:Cause i'm sick of it. I know all of that already, i know better than you. 17 years I heard the same words. One day, when u exprience the same thing as me, u will understand why.

Pain for lossing someone that u love cannt be heal by time. Try to imagine, u cannt meet ur father anymore, never and what hurt the most is u have no memories about him, not even his face. So, appreaciate ur father more, he maybe dont really care about u like ur mother, but believe me, he is the person that cry the most everytme seeing u in pain, even u cannt see his tears.

Whenever I remember my father I cried a lot. However yesterday, K.wani gve me one link, n I thought its about father or how I must be patient with all this obstacle. I dont want to read but as its from K.Wani so, I click that link(few hours after that though). That article is not what I predicted. Its make me think. This is the article:


Menangislah Kerana Allah
www.iLuvislam.com
syauqahwardah1209
editor:everjihad

BINGKISAN KHAS:

Buat mereka yang sering menangis kerana terluka dengan kekasihnya dan menangis kerana ditinggalkan oleh kekasihnya. Serta buat semua ummah yang pernah terlupa...

PERKARA: MENANGIS KERANA TAKUT KEPADA ALLAH

Firman Allah swt dari surah Al Maidah ayat 44 yang kira-kira maksudnya:

“Maka janganlah Engkau takut kepada manusia dan takutlah kepadaKu...”

Diceritakan, ada seorang lelaki yang jatuh hati kepada seorang wanita. Ketika wanita itu keluar untuk satu keperluannya, maka pergilah lelaki itu bersamanya. Sampailah mereka ke satu kampung yang sunyi di mana penghuninya telah pun tidur. Lalu, lelaki itu pun menyampaikan hasrat hatinya. Wanita itu menyahut, “Lihatlah samada orang-orang telah tidur semuanya?”

Lelaki itu memikirkan bahawa wanita itu bermaksud bahawa wanita itu bersetuju untuk menuruti kehendak hatinya. Dia pun mengelilingi kawasan itu untuk melihat samada semua orang telah tidur atau tidak. Setelah jelas bahawa semua orang-orang telah tertidur, segera dia menghampiri wanita tersebut seraya berkata, “Benar, semua orang telah pun tidur.”

Lalu, wanita tersebut bertanya; “Bagaimanakah pendapatmu dengan Allah? Apakah saat ini Dia juga telah tidur?”

Dan lelaki itu pun menjawab. “Sesungguhnya Allah tidak pernah tidur.”

Wanita itu pun berkata lagi. “Sesungguhnya Zat yang tidak pernah tidur akan melihat kita meskipun manusia sedang tidur lelap dan tidak melihat kita. Oleh kerananya Dia lebih berhak untuk ditakuti.”

Dengan segera lelaki itu meninggalkan wanita itu kerana dia takut kepada Allah. Dia telah pulang ke rumahnya dan bertaubat. Setelah dia meninggal dunia, ada orang telah bermimpi bertemu dengannya.

Lalu ditanya; “Apakah yang telah Allah lakukan kepadamu?”

Lelaki itu menjawab: “Allah telah mengampuniku kerana ketakutanku dan kerana aku meninggalkan dosa itu.”

Rasulullah saw bersabda:

“Ketika tubuh seorang hamba bergetar kerana takut kepada Allah, berguguranlah dosanya bagaikan dedaunan yang jatuh dari pohonnya.

“Sesungguhnya Allah berkata: Aku tidak mengumpulkan pada hambaKu dua ketakutan dan dua keamanan. Barangsiapa yang takut kepadaKu di dunia, Aku amankan dia di akhirat. Dan barangsiapa yang berasa aman dariKu di dunia, Aku akan takutkan dia di akhirat.”

Disebut dalam kitab Bidayatul Hidayah. Pada hari kiamat, didatangkan api yang bergemuruh. Hinggakan menggetarkan hati setiap ummah. Ketika mereka mendekatinya, gemuruh tersebut semakin kuat. Hingga terdengar dari jarak perjalanan 500 tahun. Setiap orang sampai para nabi berkata; “Nafsi-nafsi”(sendiri-sendiri). Kecuali Rasulullah saw yang sering kau lupakan. Baginda berkata, “Umatku-umatku.”

Kemudian, keluarlah api bagaikan gunung. Umat Muhammad saw berusaha untuk menolaknya sambil berkata; “Demi orang-orang yang bersolat, demi orang-orang yang siddiq, demi orang-orang yang khusyu’. Dan demi orang-orang yang berpuasa. Kembalilah engkau wahai api!”

Malangnya, api itu tidak juga kembali. Maka, berkatalah Jibril as: Sesungguhnya api hendak membakar umat Muhammad.” Lalu datanglah ia sambil membawa segelas air sambil berkata lagi: “ Ambillah air ini. Dan percikkan ke api itu!” Rasulullah saw melakukan perkara itu. Dan seketika itu, api itu pun padam.

Lalu, Nabi Muhammad saw bertanya: “Air apakah ini?” Jibril menjawab: “Itulah air mata umatmu yang menangis kerana takut kepada Allah dan sekarang aku diperintahkan untuk memberikan air itu kepadamu supaya engkau memercikkannya kepada api sehingga padam dengan izin Allah”

Rasulullah saw seringkali berdoa: “Ya Allah, berilah aku rezeki dua mata yang menangis kerana takut kepada Engkau sebelum air mata ini habis.”

Barangsiapa yang ingin selamat daripada azab Allah serta mendapatkan pahala serta rahmatNya, hendaklah dia sabar atas kesulitan dunia, taat kepada Allah serta menjauhi maksiat. Dalam kitab Zahrir Riyadh, dirawikan dari Rasulullah saw, sesungguhnya baginda bersabda:

“Ketika masuk ahli syurga, mereka disambut oleh para malaikat dengan segala kebaikan dan kenikmatan. Dipersilakan untuk mereka singgahsana berpermaidani indah. Disajikan untuk mereka segala rupa makanan dan minuman yang lazat. Oleh itu, mereka menjadi kehairanan.”

Lantas Allah berfirman. “Wahai hamba-hambaKu mengapakah engkau hairan? Ini bukan tempat untuk merasa hairan.”

Dan mereka menjawab: “Janji untuk kami telah tiba waktunya.” Kemudian, Allah telah berfirman kepada malaikat: Bukakanlah hijab dari muka mereka. Malaikat menjawab: Ya Tuhanku, bagaimana mereka dapat melihat Engkau sedangkan mereka itu derhaka? Lalu Allah menjawab; “Sesungguhnya mereka telah berzikir, bersujud dan menangis di dunia kerana ingin bertemu denganKu.” Lalu malaikat pun membukakan tabir sehingga mereka dapat melihat. Maka, segera mereka bersujud kepada Allah.

Tetapi Allah berfirman: “Angkatlah kepalamu. Hari ini bukanlah hari untuk kamu semuanya rukuk dan sujud kepadaKu. Tetapi hari ini adalah hari pembalasan nikmat kepada kamu semua. Sesungguhnya wahai hamba-hambaKu, syurga bukanlah tempat untuk beribadat tetapi adalah tempat mulia untuk kamu merasakan nikmat dan kesenangan yang berkekalan.” Kemudian, mereka nampak Allah tanpa kaifiyah. Allah berfirman lagi: “Salam sejahtera bagi engkau hamba-hambaKu. Aku redha kepadamu. Apakah engkau redha kepadaKu?” Mereka menjawab: “Bagaimana kami tidak rela wahai Tuhan kami. Engkau telah memberi kami sesuatu yang belum pernah terlihat oleh mata, belum pernah terdengar oleh telinga, bahkan belum pernah terlintas dalam hati manusia.” Inilah yang dimaksudkan oleh Allah dalam Al Baiyinah ayat 8: Ertinya; “Allah rela kepada mereka dan mereka pun rela kepadaNya.”

Dan firman Allah dalam Yasin ayat 58 yang membawa makna: “... (Dan ucapan) perkataan selamat daripada Tuhan yang pengasih.” Dan Rasulullah saw telah bersabda: “Api neraka tidak akan menjilat orang yang pernah menangis kerana takut kerana Allah swt. Sehingga air susu kembali ke tempat asalnya.”

*Sumber: Terjemahan Mukasyafah Al Qulub tulisan Imam Al-Ghazali.

Buat mereka yang seringkali menangis demi perkara yang sia-sia; menangis kerana cinta manusia, menangis kerana membaca novel cinta, menangis menonton filem cinta yang semu. Cinta! Cinta! Cinta duniawi.

Istighfarlah! Sedarlah! Bangkitlah dari lenamu.

Buat mereka yang seringkali melupakan kekasih yang paling agung; Allah sedang menantimu di pintu taubatNya. Pulanglah padaNya... dan menangislah untukNya. Menangis untuk menangih cintaNya, menangis kerana memohon taubatNya, menangis kerana berdosa padaNya, menangis kerana takut padaNya. Kerana Allah swt telah berfirman:

“Janganlah kamu seperti orang-orang yang melupakan Allah...” (Al-Hasyr: 19)

Ingatlah, menangislah kerana Allah, kerana hanya Allah sahaja yang layak buat semua titisan air matamu...

Thanks k.wani..After this my tears are only for Allah. "Ya Allah,forgive me when I'm whines"

dont cry ---- ulji anhayo......

Sunday, June 21, 2009

01. And…(Holding Back The Tears) (Dong Bang Shin Gi)
translation by: o2_intake (also credit: aheeyah.com)

A picture that gets smeared in white
And my fragrance that seems to have faded away
All get concealed by the glaring cloud

My heart that has no words
Slowly starts to move my feelings
Those times that slipped through
Are in my hands

I'm holding back the tears
I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart
To a place that is neither close nor far
Where a different me stands
I will not cry

I bring my two hands together again
To a place that will hear it
As I live though these unmemorable times

Though it seems stupid, we’re always together
The pain that I want to let go
Dries the tears that flows through my body

I'm living with my tears
I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart
To a place that is neither close nor far
Where a different me stands
I will not cry

I'm holding back the tears
I run adding to the weight of my faith
To a place that is neither high nor low
Where a different me stands again
With a small smile I can laugh

action movies

Saturday, June 20, 2009

salam...just finish 2 papers n there is 2 more papers next week n the follwing weeks.

Because i'm so stressed with my dynamic paper,yesterday I watch H.I.T(homicide investigation team. Yes, it is police story from korea. However that drama dont really show police works, it just about team work, police dilemma, principles and some romance. The main character is a woman that have a very bad temper but as a cop she has a good instinct. I dont know if thats the real character like in the script or the actress exaggerated in her acting. Why the heck, she always get suprised everytime she got reports from her subordinate. Well, as a police, she already had a lot of experience, doesnt need to show suprised face everytime. Other than that, she is great in fighting scenes.

I like action movies and drama especially from hong kong or china. The plot, the fight, the emotion are lot better than other action movies eventhough sometimes its not make sense. English movie is good too but they too rely on weapon. I favor fist fight more like kung fu. In chinese action movie, you can see the plot is unpredictable and really twisted. The actor and actress so cool too. My favourite character is someone who are the brain of the team, really sensitive to even a smallest detail. I guess that was lack in H.I.T, the planner.

Dragon squad, the latest action movie that I watched. The acting scenes were great and look real even there is some scenes that too violent but the good characters seem so weak. They supposed to be one of the best in their police department. Yes they are great shooter and fighter but they seem lost. What I'm trying too say is, they have no strategies to catch the criminals and just busted in. You can see it in many scenes, such a waste. But it still a good movie for me.

i gotta go now. c ya..salam

colddddd~~

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Skunk kul 1.26 am...kat luar 2 cam ribut je..kuat tul angin...huuuu..bosan..kayla da offline..akak aku pun da offline..tggl la aku sensorg..huhu..k.alia kat sblah ngah gayut dlm tepon..nak gayut gak tpi ngan spe??huuuuuu..bocan..

study?otak da mampat wat soklan dynmic.esk lak k..

tdo?xrase nak tdo lagi..

nk wat pe yek..sejuk tul hari ni...kaki aku wpn pkai stoking ttp mmbeku..stkg ni pun da sjuk..

tgk utube?xtau nak tgk pe da dlm utube 2..hehe..

kwn2 ku..dmane kamu...

ble tgok gambr2 lame..memori pun stat menayang satu dmi satu..best tul zmn skool dulu..kwn2 kat skliling..mcm2 pristwa yg blaku..ketawa,menangis,bergaduh...aku rindu itu sume..

kat cni aku xdpt ke sume 2?hehe..dpt je..tp zmn skool lagi indah..kat cni..hmph..

pgi kuliah..blik kuliah..sensorg..kdg2 ngan ila or housemte..tp mostly sensorg..dlm bilik kuliah g bsr 2..aku knl sorg je manusia iaitu aku sndiri..kiri kanan kosng je..huhu..korg pun da bsn dgr aku merungt..aku pun bosan..asl tlis blog je msti bnde xbest..

aku nak enjy collge life tp cmne??xde idea la..cmne la collge life korg kat msia yek..ms aku kat uniten dulu best gak tp kalu lagi bebs lagi best..yg menambahkan lagi best ialah kalu aku ade kerta..leh gi lepak mane2 kalu stress..gi men bowlg kul 1 pgi ke pas2 xleh masuk uniten..lwak2

mase 2 aku bru blik mkn kat upten(cafe uniten), pakai pun sempoi je la, ngan slipar jepun..on da way blik 2, siti ajk aku men bowlg kat mine..mase 2 da kul 10 kot. aku pun bosan xtau nak watpe..stuju jela...aku,ct,k.husna,k.fi2, ngan syafiq(drver)..

smpi sne owg lak rmai..weekend la ktekan..tggu punye tggu, turn kitaorg kul 1..mase 2 ayam ngan jay pun join gak..kitaorg men 2 round kot..xingt lak aku,yg aku ingt bola aku asik mask longkang..nyampah..ct la star..time turn owg len, dia tdo pas2 bgun tuk turn dia je...asik strike je..ape la ilmu ko pkai ct..aku try tdo sblm bling bola 2, xmnjadi pun..

da abih men..ktaorg gi mkn kat fifteen..kat area c2 la jugak..mase tul da kul 2..bdk ni la lapo gile..gi kat kdai mamak..majorti llaki..kitaorg yg pompuan ni da cuak da..tp wat muka slmbe je+muka lapo..sdp gak mamak 2 mask..oh ye..tersermpak ngan haikal kt c2..mlu gak ngan dia..ye la..pompuan kuar mlm2..xbek tul anak dare..tp 2 1st time aku wat tau..jgn slh paham lak..aku bek tau..hahahahah

abis makn, nak msuk uniten..pntu pgr da ttp..kalu nak msk kne soal ngan pak guard.. jay ngan ayam je lps sbb dorg nek motor..kitaorg yg da xde hala tju ni pun lepak la kat petronas brdekatan smpi kul 5(pntu pgr bkak)...nyamuk da la byk..mmg aku xley tdo..last2 aku men hp ngan k.fi2..smbil hrup udara mlm yg sggh menyegarkan..

2la one of the sweet memory kat unitn..yela..kat kampg mane brani kuar mlm..seram..

xtau la aku pnah cite x dlm blog ni..tp xpela..xde mende nak cite da..ni je yg ade..saat2 kenakalan aku di masa remaja..wakakaka..

da dkt kul 2, k.alia pun da nak tdo..so aku pun kene tdo..esk ade date ngan ila..hehe..da la last date ngan ila aku lewt 2 jam..nsb bek ila bek..kalu owg le,da lame aku kene mrah..hehe..

k la..gudnite..sleep tight n lets meet in dream..hehe..dream yg bek la..ade lak smlm aku mmpi husband aku kne ramps pas2 ade gangster carik dia jgak..last2 dia kne tgkap..dua org lak tu nak rmpas dia(makck aku ngan pompuan mane tah) brpakt ngan gangster 2 culik dia..huhu..my hubby..mlm ni smbg lak operasi menyelamat my hubby..hehe..sape nk tolong leh jumpe aku dlm mmpi..

k nite..my reader(mcm la ade)...salam..

Monday, June 8, 2009

Cinderella

by Tata Young



When I was just a little girl

My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress

And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory


I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me


(Chorus)


I don't wanna be like Cinderella


Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar


Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free



I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting



For a handsome prince to come and save me



On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side



Don't want to depend on no-one else

I'd rather rescue myself


Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing


(Chorus)


I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armour is me

So I'm gonna set me free


(Chorus)

***Love this song's lyrics..I dont wanna be like Cinderella...hehehe...

***If I watch film or drama, I really hate heroins that too rely on hero and always ask 4 help..Isnt it too weak...Girls are not like that. We are strong, strong enough to stand on our own feet..

***Of coz, men and women need each other.

***Ummm..just like nodame( heroin nodame cantabile-japanese drama), I like her character. She has a lot of weakness and always depend on Chiaki senpai(hero) but she always try her best, never give up...Chiaki, like others hero, nearly perfect but...without nodame, he will stucks at the same place, and will never overcome his fears. without nodame, he will never reach his dream..

***That what heroin should be, strong enough to change one man.A meaningful presence, not only fill hero's lonely heart but help him fulfill his dream..yes!!that what a girl should be..

***As conclusion, men and women need each other(that why Allah created Adam and Eve, not Adam alone). They will never perfect as a person but can be perfect as a couple. To cover each other weakness..

**Sorry 4 my bad english, hope to make it better.. Really need to polish my english. It getting worse. Should I take english class?

Freedom

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Lately, I watched a lot of DBSK (TVXQ) video, their performances or talk shows For those who dont know, they are famous idol group from Korea that created a big name in Japan and other Asian countries. Consist of 5 person, their vocal hormanizes really well, and their great dances mesmerized a lot of people. Why I suddenly changed to DBSK from Super Junior? Merely because of live performances. Not all Suju members can sing well, and I feel little irritated to Donghae's voice(one of suju member) . I dont think he gets a great voice but why he sings alot of part in Suju song. I'm sure others can sing better than him. hmmmm...

Back to DBSK, they have lot of fans all over Asia even in Malaysia. Their every moves will be captured in camera, I even saw fans stand outside their house, when they are in hometown. Fans are everywhere. It must be really great to have so much fans, but think it back, they actually lost their freedom. Fans also know their phone numbers and always give them a phone call. Jaejoong(one of DBSK member) said that everytime he gots a phone call, he will not say anything and just hang up. Sound so arrogant, but put yourselves in his shoes and you will understand. He also said that even when they only have 2-hours time to sleep, if they get a moments of total freedom, they will sacrifices their sleeping time as long as can get a fresh air such as go to the beach. Hard to understand? its hard for me to explain though.

Actually, I just want to say in this world, there always be action-reaction pair(Newton 3rd law's). when you get all attention, you lose freedoms. when you are becomes unknown, you craved for popularity. Even for me sometimes, I really want people pay attentions to me, listen to me and appraciated me. But when all the attentions on me, I turned my faces away and looking for spaces. Human never satisfied with what they got. Can I say ungrateful is human nature. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, when life going so smooth I want something bad happen, challenge me but when it really happend, I said life is unfair, why I have to face this.....How ungrateful I am.

What I feel so grateful now is, I have all the freedom, I can fly happily in this wide sky. Looking world in different ways and able to experienced new things. Can I really use this opportunities to the fullest?What have I done to reached my dreams? Nothing...huhuhu.. Even now, I should sleep and wake up early morning, go to class or study. but what I'm doing is write in this blog after wasting my times , playing computer games and watching videos in youtube. I can only see me as useless person not mention a lazy stupid girl. Frankly speaking, I hate myself, I try to changed it but, why I'm failed? will you help me?will you wake me up from this beautiful lies?

Its already 5.30 am and my body cant stand it anymore. I need to lay down even for a while. See you then..bye