What Should I do??

What should I do now? I dont like asking people for help but looks like I have no choice. All this mess was my fault and I want to dealt it myself. I'm stuck.

Yesterday, I lost my purse together with IC, ID, bankcard, house key and money. Its all because of my own reckless. I never thought this happened. Now, with RM19, I'm stuck in uniten, dont know where to go or what to do. How will I survive?

Why I come back to Uniten? I just want to enjoy my day with friends for the last time since we are going to lead our own path. Only for that reason. Am I stupid? All this while I dont really care about other people as I know involve with other person will add more pain. But I'm just ordinary human looking for happiness. Tomorrow, there will be our last dinner together at Pak Arip house and I guess I cant go.

The only choice that I have to avoid me from starving here is to go to my sister's house. I need to text her and ask her to fetch me up as I cant carry all my luggage to the train station. Hope she dont mind. This is really not me, asking for help but I guess pride fall to the second place. In my family, I need to do things independently since I was in boarding school. At the age of 13 years old, I take a bus alone for the first time and I didnt know where to push a button to stop. I went to Kuantan alone and walk at a place I never been. When I studied in Uniten, I travel alone in a big dangerous city where murder is common sense. I guess people always take me as an independent girl but do they really know me? I'm afraid everytime I'm alone but I cant say it out loud. Let people know I'm tough cause I dont need their pity. My father dead when I was 3 years old. When I told other people, they will show their pity. I dont really need that. What I need is someone to hold my hand and accompany me along this road. Then, I decided not to tell anyone anymore. It's useless.

I dont know if my sister will say yes and if she does, I need to pay "duit minyak". She told me once, ' you cant get what you want easily, everything have a price'. I know that she wants me to be independent and I appreciate her way. However, it turns me become cruel. Nowadays, I hate to sympathy other people because as a human I believe everyone can overcome their obstacle. I hate to watch 'Bersamamu', seeing other people cry in front of thousands viewer, asking for mercy. This is wrong, I shouldnt feel this way but its come naturally.

Every hard work will be paid. I will give my very best to succeed become engineer and fulfill my dreams. My orphanage house will trained kids become a great and excellence man so that they can continue it. They will never beg for mercy and can stand by their own. They will protect each other but never become dependent. They will be grateful for whatever they have and use all the challenges as advantages. Being an orphans are not their unlucky fates but their strength to embraces the future. That is my dream!

Suddenly, I'm full with enthusiasm, forget about my problem, its just a small matter for me. Time will show me the way to solve this messy puzzle.