Perfect love is illusion

At first, I thought I was dreaming when you said you like me too...

 

It was so amazing, you and I together soaring the sky, reaching for eternity love

But then, everything break apart, shattered the love that we build together

And now, I realised perfect love is an illusion, love is gone when all the excitement gone

What left is a memory of you, me and our perfect love

 

Love is complicated.

"A soul mate is…someone whose way of viewing life is not necessarily the same as yours but complements yours, so that there is not a compromise, there is a complement." ~ Paul Robear.

As J reading this, she starts to regret leaving Y behind. Is that a mistake? If it is, can he forgives me and accept me back?

Or, did i already lost the love of my life?

J knows she have to get back to Y as soon as possible but she dont want to rush things. She is the one who ask this break. With that, she persever

Meanwhile, Y get himself busy even more and try to forget J. He still furious. He still cant understand why J leave him after all the effort he puts in to build a great life for her. He works hard every day.

Suddenly, J's smile come to his mind and how much he miss that smile. He miss her. Will she come back to me? He asks himself the question that only time can determine the answer.

Life is complicated. Sometimes, love doesnt mean,stay. And love not always letting go. Sometimes, we hold things too dearly that unintentionally, we break it and hurt our hand that hold.

Oh how love is complicated.

J and Y look through the window of their respective house. The view is not the same but their mind synchoranize against miles. 'i miss you', the words echo in their heart.

Kepada Hati Yang Mendengar.

So close to that dark room.
Sebuah bilik yang menyimpan segala kisah duka seorang insan,
 bilik yang melihat kejatuhannya dan di bilik itu air matanya tidak berhenti mengalir.

Bilik gelap itu mengundangnya kembali pada kemurungan dan kesakitan.
Kembali menjadi dia yg lemah.
Yang hanya menundukkan muka.
Di bilik itu, dia mahu menjerit meminta pertolongan tak tahan penderitaan yang dilalui.
Namun yang ada hanga kehampaan, kekosongan dan dirinya sendiri.

Ntah bagaimana suatu hri dia mengumpul kekuatan,
menyapu air matanya dan berjanji untuk tidak lagi menangis kerana dunia.
Lalu dikerah seluruh tenaga memulas tombol dan menarik pintu yang sangat berat itu.
Dia melangkah keluar dengan harapan mencari sinar itu sendiri.
Sudah puas dia menjerit, merayu, memohon pertolongan pada hati yang mendengar
Kini dia redha sendiri menghadapi dunia. Segenggam tabah menjadi sandaran.

Berbulan-bulan dia bertahan.
Segala rasa pedih, malu, bingung disingkir jauh kerana dia nekad untuk tidak kembali ke bilik gelap itu.
Tapi dunia terus berputar seiring waktu menduganya, menggodanya untuk kembali jatuh.
Dia terus bertahan memasak kaki ke bumi.

Kadang dia terasa ragu adakah dia akan kekal tabah.
Saat dunia kecilnya goyah kerana dugaan
perasaan takut mula menguasainya seperti bayang-bayang gelap yang mengejar.
Malam tadi dia bermimpi lagi, didekat hantu-hantu yang inginkan nyawanya.
Dia terjaga dalam gelisah seolah benar mimpi itu.

Dunianya yang goyah, bilik gelap yang berbisik, sampai bila dia mampu bertahan?
Dia terus menjerit mengharap ada hati yang mendengar.

Love is letting go. Love is being here

J: why you dont treat me like other people. Dont u care bout me?

Y: i care for you. What are you talking about.

J: when is the last time you ask me how i feel?

Y: i did ask you about your life, right?

J: thats not what i mean! Asking about life and asking about my feeling is not the same.

Y: what is it? Did i make you angry?

J: yes! You dont care bout me!

Y: i care bout you, i always think of you but you know i've been busy. I told you before.

J: but still, caring bout me wont hurt your precious time. Besides, in one day, can you spend just a moment for me.

Y: you asking too much. I thought u understand me. Let me build a great world for you, for us, will you?

J: you are my world. I need nothing.

Y: be real Dear. I know money cant buy happiness but money can buy many things that make u happy. I want to build a some security in our future.

J: i am being real! All those thing, wealth, and success mean nothing for me if there is no you. Cant you see how important of you being here with me? We have a different view of a good life.

Y: yes, but those different should not make us apart!

J: no. thats what make all the different. i'm sorry, lets take a break from each other. I need to think it through.

Y: what?! What for

J: ask yourself, will you stay by my side for the rest of your life? Will..

Y: of coz I will, you know that.

J: listen. Please. Will you stand by me, a person who always need your love and attention? Will you still be with a complicated me who always overthink and curious? Will you love me fullheartedly even at time i disregard you for such a small mistake? Will you be here for me when i'm scare and in doubt? I love you so much to the point that it hurts even seeing you turn your back on me. This sensitivity, im afraid, you cant tolerate.

Y: why cant i?

J: you too carefree. You dont know me very well and you always underestimate my love for you.

Y: i dont understand! I dont want to understand. Please dont go.

J: you know, if im really for you, even if we separated by miles, by time and space, we will find each other again...but if not, i believe you will find someone better.

Y: please, dont do this

J: i love you, Y. I will always love you. Goodbye.

As the door close, their hearts shattered. Will they find each other again?

For J, almost here is not the same as being here. All this time, she only ask of love. Nothing more but it seems its too much.

For Y, she is his future and build a great life with her is what he wants. However, he forgets one thing! She is in the present. While chasing for the future, he lose the present.

For them, love is life. Love is them. But will life bring them together again? Only God knows!

Ku tak upaya - karen kong

Kiranya kau tahu
Apa yang tersimpan di hati
Hanya tuhan yang mengerti
Betapaku kecewa

 Air mata ini
Adalah luahan duka
Tidak pernah kau mengesatnya
Sekalipun tangisan darah

Aku tak upaya
Ku tak berupaya
Meraih cintamu
Biarpunku serah segalanya

Aku tak upaya 

 Ku tak berupaya
Biar apapun yang kan terjadi
Menantimu …
Selamanya ...

Aku tak upaya
Ku tak berupaya
Hanya tuhan saja yang menduga
Aku redha ...
Tak berdaya ...

Painted the SKY

Today, after finish my Law paper (fuh.....), I play around with Photoscape given by my fren. Kumawo chingguya.. :))

So this is the result..hmmm..not really satisfied with result but its my first try so...ok lah~~

There is always hope if we still breathing

The many colours in sky, the many blessing in our life. 

Thank you Allah

Memory

As the memory fade away, i cant see your face
 but the feeling you gave me still linger.

Us, Sea, and everything in it.

We reach for the sky, for a beautiful dreams in life.
Will you catch me when I fall? or
will you fall together with me?