Being Introvert

Being an introvert in a world require me to do presentation and a lot of group work is undeniably tiresome.
As an introvert, I live in my own world since I was a kid thus I have very lonely childhood. If you ask me,
what is my best memories of playing with friends, I cant answer it. I spent most of my childhood watching television or reading books and I love that world so much!

However my little world crumbles when I step up to university. During my time as a foundation student, there is few subject require me to present in front of the class. I have a great ability to explaining things to people but having to talk in front of everyone really scares me. and what bother me the most is the thrill before presentation. The nervousness  that so visible that people can see my hands shaking. There is one time, when I stand on the stage my whole body is shaking. I really hate it.

I thought this nervousness will be disappear if I got enough practice or after several presentation but it stays on. Sometime, it gets worse. Therefore, it is natural for me to hate presentation.

After foundation studies, I enrolled in local university taking Business Administration major in Human Resource Management. This program requires every student to have great social and presentation skills to prepare us for our career. That is  why there is presentation for every subject in every semester. WhaT!!! Frankly speaking, Im more worried for presentation rather than final examination. In final examination, I dont have to talk in front of everyone!

In Susan Cain's book entitled Quiet, she writes about being introvert in the world that cant stop talking. Everyone talk a lot. they talk in facebook, blog(like I did now, but you cant see my lip), twitter, wechat, kakao talk etc. Technology actually helps many introvert around the world deliver their thought without having to stand up on the stage, holding a  microphone and making eye contact with audience. What I really like about this book is not only  the tremendous researchs discussed in the book but also many advices given to the introvert to deliver a great speech. Firstly, accept and embrace who you are. Secondly, know your streangth and weaknesses. Thirdly, use it well.

I may not appear to be entertaining, happy-go-lucky and talkative like my fellow extrovert friends are, but I have abilities to understand things easily and quickly and explain it clearly to people. I also have vast knowledge in many different areas. and my weakness is the nausea and shaking feeling before and during presentation. So what I did is, I concentrate in every facts and theories on the topic, find examples that can help people understand. Then, I prepare and practice my presentation at home in front of myself and using mental imagery. Researching a lot of ways to improve my presentation skills and overcome glassophobia really help me along the way.

In conclusion, Being introvert is not an excuse to not giving a great presentation. Many great speaker in this world is introverts, they may rarely give speech but when they speak, they give IMPACT. So, my fellow introverts, be proud! 

Scenery

I had spare time yesterday evening, so I did some editing to my photo collection.

The picture of below was taken at Putrajaya Lake. At that time, my friends and I had a task to sale foods  during rowing competition to collect money for community service program.

 

Time Travel

There is few photos from our program at Terengganu that I choose to edit. Below, a photo of boat service at Terengganu port bay. Coincidentally,when I zoom the photo, I had snap a picture of couple in the boat so I put some words to give more meaningful and romantic feeling to the photo.

Bahtera Cinta Kita

 This is a common scenery at Kampung Nelayan, Terengganu. I can imagine this picture to put in the frame or print to the canvas and hang in my hall.

Kampung Nelayan Terengganu

This also taken at Terengganu when my friend walking along the beach. While looking at the photo, I feel how strong their friendship are and after so many years they are still be friend.

Sahabat Selamanya

Finally, the picture of mengkarung that I cant remember where I snap it. It seems that the mengkarung was observing its environment and smiling.

Observe the nature

Abstract flowers edit

Hati-Hati skecth

Pink in desert

Crimson Line

Tears of Flower

Orchid

My mom is a big fan of orchid so at our lawn she plant few orchids. I gonna show two of them that bloom last week. Dendrobium purple and yellow phalaenopsis.

Flowers are red...not really..

Berkebun. Sebelum ini, aku kurang berminat berkebun kerana perlu bergelumang dengan tanah dan perlu berpanas tetapi semenjak aku mengambil alih tugas ibuku ketika dia mengerjakan umrah, aku semakin suka berkebun. Aku seronok menarik rumput-rumput liar yang tumbuh dalam pasu, membaja, menyiram dan mengalih pasu sekiranya perlu. Ini aku sertakan gambar bunga-bunga yang ada di lamanku.

Bunga apakah ini?

bunga cactus

oleh sebab masalah internet, hanya 2 gambar dapat dilampirkan.

Bad habit

Its my habit to procrastinate...

Its my habit to stop think of the solution if Im stress...

Its my habit to take something important for granted...

Its my habit to generate idea and not put it into action...

Its my habit to give up halfway...

Its my habit to find excuses than find a way...



Yes, I admit all this bitterly!

As a 24 years old woman ( i dont think girl is appropriate at this age), I feel useless. I'm still studying while many of my friend start their career. during the semester break, I live with my mom while others working part time. I have no property under my name such as car, house and etc. And to make matter worse, I have no savings. Can I be more useless.

Recently, I talk to  my friend about my inability to work far from home because of my mother and she suggested online business and again being me, i'm trying to find excuses. What the hell is wrong with me?!

People around me think I'm brilliant and even I think I have a great brain. But why i'm still stuck and far from successful.

About buying a car, I think I need a car to move around. However, according to Robert Kiyosaki, if you want to add your liability, firstly you have to add your asset. The car in this case is liability so I need income.What can I do? Lets list the option:

1. Work in Kuantan if my mom allowed during sem break

2. Work at my sister shop. eventhough she will only pay few hundreds but if I can help try to increase the shop income, she may give me more. The only problem here is transportation as I dont know how to ride motorcycle and I cant drive her car.

3. Work at home. but what kind of work?sewing?

hmmm....

Stress Out

Stress is something normal in our life. We always stress about almost everything. Sometime we stress cause have nothing to wear eventhough our closet is full (girls u know what im talking about). And some people stress because their team lose in a football match (i can never understand). So, from small to big thing we easily get stress.

Is it really because of the situation we in? Is it because of the problem? Or is it cause by us? Stephen R Covey in his book stated that man has to focus on solution, not problem. And it is undeniably true. However, its not easy, every time i have a problem i try to focus on the solution and everything went well until my heart start to interfere and my emotiong struggling, wiggling to get out. What should we do then? Keep focus on the solution!

Write down your propose solution and try to consider every alternative you have. For instance, i recently had a problem with one of my group member At that time I was angry but then I try to focus on the solution. I gave her a choice and I let her choose the solution of our problem. During the process I did raise my voice a bit but its needed to make her realize that she can't mess with me. Thank god, she decided to behave more properly and be more responsible. You see, at that time, I can talk to my lecturer and get her out of my group but I didn't. Why? Humanity. As a human, we don't like treated badly, punished by our behavior. What we want is someone to care and help us then give a chance to straight thing up. I do believe that justice is when you give someone chance to repent. Because I choose to focus on solution everything going well

So, for all my friends out there who had a problem, take out a piece o paper and start list down your solution. If you block out, ask someone for help. Maybe, they experience something similar and can provide you some insight.

Here is some solution that MAY help those who in depression. I experience it before so I want to share with you what I did to get out of it.
1. Have faith in Allah and fate.
2. Do not lock yourself in a room. Get out, have fresh air and meet people.
3. Get busy or get a hobby.
4. Talk to friends, family, counselor or anyone that you can trust and feel comfortable with.
5. Accept the advise from those who genuinely concern about you and neglect all the negative things that people that hate you throw at you.
6. Focus on the solution rather than your problem.
7. Keep moving and don't give up.
8. Read and listen and get occupy with motivation books or media. Words can hurt people but words also can heal people.
9. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Have a strong self pride.
10. Write a letter to yourself, tell yourself to stay strong and be brave. Every time you feeling down read this letter.

Last but not least I want to share 4 words my counselor told me that always keep me strong in a rainy day.

BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF!!!!