Today is my unprodctve day. N im not proud of it! I wake up to a recurring dream of person that alien to me. Then as i facebooking, without thinking, i like one of my ex photo. Instantly, he sent me a fb msg asking bout my health and life. I was very shock!i scream to the point my fren thought i just saw a ghost. What with that reaction?!
Well, few months back, I scold him(text) for ignoring me even after i involve in an accident. At that time, many bad things happen in my life so i want to share the burden with him. Unfortunately, he dont think so. I was so stressed then i sent a text saying goodbye. A real goodbye with apologies and appreciation. I thought it will end our relationship for good.
But today he asks me about my study,! Can you believe it? After all he had done to me!! N just that, not even asking about my goodbye text, or our fight, like nothing ever happen. Maube he thought he can undo his doing by pretending everythg is well.
Im not exactly angry but more like frustrated and annoyed by the way he treats me. As a result, i've been lazing around for my whole day. I feel so irritated that i keep watching video in youtube to distract my mind. I cant even finish my puzzle or stdy.
Not only that, i having a problem with my credit card. I try to buy richard hammond's book on ebay but i have a problem with my credit card. I try my fren's credit n it still couldnt work. So, i made a plan to go out venture looking for that book even its gonna take long time. There is lack of good bookstre in msia n my current address right now is a bit far from city. Well, no pain no gain. So i will stop complaining n start to really look for that book. As for my ex, let he be. I just want to live my life according to me. N he no longer part of me.
Goodnight.
Hamster
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I bought new hamsters today. So excited!! I never hve a hamster n hve absolutely no idea how to pet a hmster. But, with help from uncle google nothg can stop me!
The hamster remind me of richard hammond tv presenter for famous show from britain, TOP GEARS. However, i dont watch TG. I know hammond from engineering connectin, my favorte documentary!!
He cute like hamster (n small too). No wonder they call him hamster. :))
N then its remind me of hammond's book, on the edge n or is it just me. Im going to order that books from ebay tomorrow. I dont think we hve it in malaysia. Then i thought, i should buy another crime book from agatha christie too. I finished all the crimw collection i hve.
Then one thing strike. I always want to be a writer n i love to write about my journey. Who knows i can inspire someone through my stories, right? I should update my blog more frequently. Maybe everyday! Haha.
See! One thing leads to another! From hamster to hammond to his book to agatha christie book to blogging.
LIFE IS AMAZING!
The hamster remind me of richard hammond tv presenter for famous show from britain, TOP GEARS. However, i dont watch TG. I know hammond from engineering connectin, my favorte documentary!!
He cute like hamster (n small too). No wonder they call him hamster. :))
N then its remind me of hammond's book, on the edge n or is it just me. Im going to order that books from ebay tomorrow. I dont think we hve it in malaysia. Then i thought, i should buy another crime book from agatha christie too. I finished all the crimw collection i hve.
Then one thing strike. I always want to be a writer n i love to write about my journey. Who knows i can inspire someone through my stories, right? I should update my blog more frequently. Maybe everyday! Haha.
See! One thing leads to another! From hamster to hammond to his book to agatha christie book to blogging.
LIFE IS AMAZING!
New day
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The new day has come with brightful and promising future. Land of opportunity also vast space for improvement. But new day never cease to forget the past. Every memory flowing by, waiting to be compared to present. I vow mysef to keep silent bout my past but i failed cause past never leave me
New day that i've been waiting with fear also pleasure. The fear of failure and pleasure of self-improvement.
Thus i hope this new day always stand before light as darkness is my ultimate enemy.
New day that i've been waiting with fear also pleasure. The fear of failure and pleasure of self-improvement.
Thus i hope this new day always stand before light as darkness is my ultimate enemy.
Staying Sane
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Staying or leaving Monash equally painful. Its suffocate but I cant complain cause this the path I choose. Friends, they have their own life and problem so I cant trouble them besides sympathy is the least thing I need right now.
All the success before seems nothing cause of this 1 particular failure and thats all they see. That is all they see.
All the success before seems nothing cause of this 1 particular failure and thats all they see. That is all they see.
Tears and Fist
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tears. its my enemy right now. Been fighting it the whole day. Why?
1. FELDA hasnt bank in my allowance yet. I need damn money so much to settle everything before going back for good.
2. Today is my last counselling session. Jodie has been a very good listener to me and im gonna miss her.
3. Eveything that I planned ruined because of that money. This week is my last week in melbourne and i want it to be great but...Im so furious.
4. I dont wanna leave this town. I have a great life here. For me I start my real life in this cozy place and Im gonna miss it so much.
5. Lots of thing cant be settle down not only because of the money but also because this one particular *****. after talk to my counselor, I thought I want to have peace and confront her but tonight she did it again. She alienated me. She thinks she can throw me away just like that make me totally not exist. Well, she got it wrong cause one day I'll be back and god knows what i'm gonna do to her so called perfect little life and thats the promise!
1. FELDA hasnt bank in my allowance yet. I need damn money so much to settle everything before going back for good.
2. Today is my last counselling session. Jodie has been a very good listener to me and im gonna miss her.
3. Eveything that I planned ruined because of that money. This week is my last week in melbourne and i want it to be great but...Im so furious.
4. I dont wanna leave this town. I have a great life here. For me I start my real life in this cozy place and Im gonna miss it so much.
5. Lots of thing cant be settle down not only because of the money but also because this one particular *****. after talk to my counselor, I thought I want to have peace and confront her but tonight she did it again. She alienated me. She thinks she can throw me away just like that make me totally not exist. Well, she got it wrong cause one day I'll be back and god knows what i'm gonna do to her so called perfect little life and thats the promise!
Silent night
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Dark Toyota Prius drove through North-South highway roaring at 140mph, broken the sound of silent night. The driver, middle aged woman wearing white long sleeve custom tailor shirts, like others career woman love to wear.
She smiles and laugh at the deejay canny jokes and happily sing along the played songs. Bring out the memories of the incredible meeting, million dollar contract that almost in her hands. million dollar contract that only she, can pull off.
She glance at the clock, 10 minutes past 9. She cant wait to come home, to her beautiful kids and of course to her good-for-nothing husband. Well, she used to love him but as the time goes by love fades away, like paint on the wall, like flowers that wither. Never mind, she thinks, she got her 2 little angels, money and great career, she dont need him but why they still together? That, she not sure.
The sound of silver Waja past her, throwing her back to reality. Feel challenged, she hits the speed pad, digits increased to 150 mph, then she wins the unofficial race. Thats the second triumph for her today, after million dollar contract. A woman manage to bind a contract from overseas company, that will profit million or manybe billion. Everyone praise her,ask her how she do it.
Its not easy of course considering the time she spends at the office everyday, the time that she supposed to spend raise up her kids. She feel guilty, convince herself they will understand, someday. Someday, they will say "my mom, is an incredible businesswoman, the next Malaysia's iron lady."
Ahh, she blushing and giggling such a girl at first date.
Bamm!!
She press the break, tyre stretching and the car stops. What was that? Her heart pounding fast. Now, the silent wrapth her in confusion. She sees a body, and blood. being wise woman she always is, she pick up phone dial 999.
Wait. What if she just start the engine and drive away? No one sees this, right. Then, her conscience knock. She reports the accident. What possibly could go wrong? She can pay for hospital bills, if the girl is not dead. or did she? She steps outside, walk to the jane doe, blood all over, gathering up her last courage to feel the wrist.
She stumble back, stare at the dead body. What have she done?
The sirens coming fast and loud. soon, the night not so quite anymore, crowded with cops and paramedics.
And she just staring to the space, nothing in her mind, no million dollar contract, no smiling kid, not even her good-for-nothing husband.
Why this happen when Everything just so perfect.
She smiles and laugh at the deejay canny jokes and happily sing along the played songs. Bring out the memories of the incredible meeting, million dollar contract that almost in her hands. million dollar contract that only she, can pull off.
She glance at the clock, 10 minutes past 9. She cant wait to come home, to her beautiful kids and of course to her good-for-nothing husband. Well, she used to love him but as the time goes by love fades away, like paint on the wall, like flowers that wither. Never mind, she thinks, she got her 2 little angels, money and great career, she dont need him but why they still together? That, she not sure.
The sound of silver Waja past her, throwing her back to reality. Feel challenged, she hits the speed pad, digits increased to 150 mph, then she wins the unofficial race. Thats the second triumph for her today, after million dollar contract. A woman manage to bind a contract from overseas company, that will profit million or manybe billion. Everyone praise her,ask her how she do it.
Its not easy of course considering the time she spends at the office everyday, the time that she supposed to spend raise up her kids. She feel guilty, convince herself they will understand, someday. Someday, they will say "my mom, is an incredible businesswoman, the next Malaysia's iron lady."
Ahh, she blushing and giggling such a girl at first date.
Bamm!!
She press the break, tyre stretching and the car stops. What was that? Her heart pounding fast. Now, the silent wrapth her in confusion. She sees a body, and blood. being wise woman she always is, she pick up phone dial 999.
Wait. What if she just start the engine and drive away? No one sees this, right. Then, her conscience knock. She reports the accident. What possibly could go wrong? She can pay for hospital bills, if the girl is not dead. or did she? She steps outside, walk to the jane doe, blood all over, gathering up her last courage to feel the wrist.
She stumble back, stare at the dead body. What have she done?
The sirens coming fast and loud. soon, the night not so quite anymore, crowded with cops and paramedics.
And she just staring to the space, nothing in her mind, no million dollar contract, no smiling kid, not even her good-for-nothing husband.
Why this happen when Everything just so perfect.
See
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My friend once told me,
why would people know you hurt if you dont tell them there is thorn in your shoes.
Yes, people can know if they look carefully, that i was limping and my face pale.
If they really looking, they may know.
Sometimes, pain are too hard to describe and
your only hope is someone notice it
before you are bleed to death.
why would people know you hurt if you dont tell them there is thorn in your shoes.
Yes, people can know if they look carefully, that i was limping and my face pale.
If they really looking, they may know.
Sometimes, pain are too hard to describe and
your only hope is someone notice it
before you are bleed to death.
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