SaraH yg MengOng

Gile mals ak update blog...dr msia smpi aussie blog aku cmni la gak

xtau nak write pe sbnrnye..nipun jenguk sbb aku mls gile nk blaja..aku kat lib monash ni,sume owg ngah sbuk blaja tp aku..huh..mslnye!!!!

final exm da dkt tp ntah r,langsg xde smgt nak blaja,aku pun xtau nape..sape ade jwpn tlg bitau..

adoi...bnci gile kat dri sndr skunk ni...riso gak aku kantoi nnti da la engin kat monash ni ssh..

yg men downkan lagi, aku wat kuiz elek. 1st attempt dpt 0/1 tp mgkn sbb aku clumsy tgk circuit yg belit2 n nk kne jwb dlm ms sejam..huh..cam race over time je..aku redha je dpt 0..sblm jwb 2nd attempt aku stdy la tjuk 2 n try wat sokln kuiz 2 sbb pattern sokln same je..

1mlm ni aku stdy ngn pnuh ksungguhn..n aku mmg ingt aku da tau cmne nk wat..esknye aku wat 2nd attempt, budget ley r dpt at least 0.5/1...

jeng..jeng..jeng..agk2 bape aku dpt???

mark: 0/1 AGAIN!!xpaham tul..kat mane aku slh ni..aku da wat btul2 da..da ikut da ape yg die ajr..huhu..sedih gile time tu..trus xde mood nak stdy, jam pun da kul 1 am, aku pun decide tuk tido wpun mate aku trg benderg..menci!!!

Esoknye(which is today) aku gi class dlm keadaan xde mood..argh!! pas2 aku pontg kls comp, mcm la aku paham kalu dtg, lecture sblm ni pun wat practcal bru paham..blaja sndiri je..sejujurnye stiap kali lectre comp yg sejam 2,aku menerawg ntah ke mane..bek aku tgk recorded lectre je. bley gak aku rewind kalu xpaham..lectrer comp 2 da la ckp cam bullet train..

2lah kisah aku yg xbest...skunk ni aku wonder nape aku amik engin sbbnye aku rase yg aku da x compatible ngan engin-sblm ni pun rase cam2 gak tp aku mls nak pkir bebyk so amik je.. regret?maybe a little bit..nak patah blik pun da xley...kontrak ngan felda..

ummmmmmmmmmm...penngggggggg..tolon la aku yg da kebengongan ni..

MiRAcle

It was such a miracle for me. I didnt expect to get back my purse. 11.15 am in my apartment, I received a phone call from Midvalley Information Centre. She told me that my purse was there because the founder submit it to them. Unbelievable. Farah, my roomate, asked me detail of the conversation because she afraid that it just a prank call. I put it aside and eagerly, Adib and I rushed to the Midvalley. It such a relief when I checked my purse that everything in there. huh. It feels like a big burden remove from my head.

This incident make me think, why it happen and what is the message behind all these? What can I learn? It told me that there is still many honest person in this world. I just have to find in everyone heart not by appearance and status. Oh yes, that founder name is Al-Nurudin. I'm not sure the gender but I'm going to call him/her to show my appreciation.

Everything happen under ALLAH control, not us. The only thing that we can do are put an effort and pray. We never know anything about future but we can construct it and try make it real. This incident make me think back my dreams and how I can make it real. Right now, it just a wild dreams since I do nothing to change it into reality. I'm going to sketch every path that I can take.

Yesterday, I read a book entitled 'The Celestial Management'. The book about doing business in Islamic way. I like the idea how it interpret business in term of human and god. When I ride on a train, my mind keep thinking about settle an extraordinary life. I want to become engineer but it is not enough. How becoming an engineer can contribute to ISLAM, MALAYS and MALAYSIA not only limit to my company? Looks like this book give me this answer :

' What is the use of creating large profits (by hooks or by crooks) if you die doing it?What is the use of creating momentary profits by sacrificing the reputation of the hereafter? "As mortals gain more correct views of god and man," writes Mary Baker Eddy in Science and Health, "multitudinous objects of creation, which before were invisible, will become visible." Death has opened our eyes about many things. Death reminds us that there is something far more valuable in this life than just the motivation of for bread alone. The result that you achieve - be it wealth, luxury, glory and great pride- will become nothing the moment death visits you. A new life, one that is eternal, will unfold before you. The result that we idolize will be valueless. So, why allow yourself to be buoyed by a worldly result?'

I hope this will not give you headache. Above paragraph is the base of an answer of my question. My weakness is to interpret my thinking into a right words so I hope you can understand it. hahaha.

What Should I do??

What should I do now? I dont like asking people for help but looks like I have no choice. All this mess was my fault and I want to dealt it myself. I'm stuck.

Yesterday, I lost my purse together with IC, ID, bankcard, house key and money. Its all because of my own reckless. I never thought this happened. Now, with RM19, I'm stuck in uniten, dont know where to go or what to do. How will I survive?

Why I come back to Uniten? I just want to enjoy my day with friends for the last time since we are going to lead our own path. Only for that reason. Am I stupid? All this while I dont really care about other people as I know involve with other person will add more pain. But I'm just ordinary human looking for happiness. Tomorrow, there will be our last dinner together at Pak Arip house and I guess I cant go.

The only choice that I have to avoid me from starving here is to go to my sister's house. I need to text her and ask her to fetch me up as I cant carry all my luggage to the train station. Hope she dont mind. This is really not me, asking for help but I guess pride fall to the second place. In my family, I need to do things independently since I was in boarding school. At the age of 13 years old, I take a bus alone for the first time and I didnt know where to push a button to stop. I went to Kuantan alone and walk at a place I never been. When I studied in Uniten, I travel alone in a big dangerous city where murder is common sense. I guess people always take me as an independent girl but do they really know me? I'm afraid everytime I'm alone but I cant say it out loud. Let people know I'm tough cause I dont need their pity. My father dead when I was 3 years old. When I told other people, they will show their pity. I dont really need that. What I need is someone to hold my hand and accompany me along this road. Then, I decided not to tell anyone anymore. It's useless.

I dont know if my sister will say yes and if she does, I need to pay "duit minyak". She told me once, ' you cant get what you want easily, everything have a price'. I know that she wants me to be independent and I appreciate her way. However, it turns me become cruel. Nowadays, I hate to sympathy other people because as a human I believe everyone can overcome their obstacle. I hate to watch 'Bersamamu', seeing other people cry in front of thousands viewer, asking for mercy. This is wrong, I shouldnt feel this way but its come naturally.

Every hard work will be paid. I will give my very best to succeed become engineer and fulfill my dreams. My orphanage house will trained kids become a great and excellence man so that they can continue it. They will never beg for mercy and can stand by their own. They will protect each other but never become dependent. They will be grateful for whatever they have and use all the challenges as advantages. Being an orphans are not their unlucky fates but their strength to embraces the future. That is my dream!

Suddenly, I'm full with enthusiasm, forget about my problem, its just a small matter for me. Time will show me the way to solve this messy puzzle.

It's quite sometime I didnt post anything (cian blog ni sunyi). Oh ya, I've another blog actually in friendster so dont be shy, visit it when you free.

1st November 2008 - our giving certificate ceremonies. I attached some photos too. ceremonies week was the busiest week as we need to prepare everything even though we were the one who being celebrated.huuhuhuhu. However,thanks to some IKAL staff for helped us.



prepare for performance. They sang 3 songs. they did great performance but I think a better singer will make it greater.hehehe.





Deco preparation. We decorated dining hall all by ourselves.
It's really look grand but sorry I didnt have the photo that show dining hall after completed our deco.






Me on the stage, recieved the plague and certificate. Certificate given by Timbalan VC. I was the last person recieved it.huuuu.







performance by all graduan. Poem recited and sang a song from Ayu- Hanya di Mercu....Some of us sang it duel and they had a great voice..






pictures of my family

-me, my niece and my sis

my brother-








Overall view, everything going smoothly, just some technical problem. I can say its a success even it's such a simple ceremony

WHY ENGINEERING??

Yesterday,my friend,Joseph ask me, why I choose engineering? I told him that this field challenging. That question really bother me so I decide to write in my blog.

Why engineering? Actually, I have no interest in circuit, semiconductor, power and whatever related to electric. I got an excellent result in PMR so I expect to see myself into SBP or MRSM. Unfortunately, there are no offer from them and its frustrating. The only offer from SM TEKNIK 1 KUANTAN in Electrical & Electronic study. I said to myself, maybe I can give a try because I never thought to be engineer. 2 years in SMTK gave me a lot of joy and slowly I fall in love with electrical. Electerical is a very abstract subject, something that you cannot see but worth to believe. I like mathematic and in Electrical we do many calculation.

What is my ambition? Answer,I dont have any. However, I'm fond of the hospitality industry especially in hotel-Room Services department. I like to do room decoration. Not only that, provide a perfect room and see guests happy face is a great feeling. As someone who has no ambition, my goal is to do my very best in any sector I choose. Lets wish I will be an excellent engineer and do many contribution for MALAYSIA.

After SPM, I got 2 offer, from MOE (Math in UK) and FELDA (Engineerg in Aussie). I love Math but I dont want become a teacher. Why? Because of cheap salary and risky. As a teacher, you are not only do teaching things but you need educate student about life and value. I'm afraid I do it wrongly and give negative impact to my students. Engineering also risky but you can gain a lot of money with the high salary. People may think I'm materialistik but frankly speaking I'm sick of having financial problem. I want to have a better life for my family and I our next generation have a proper life and better education. Sometimes, I imagine myself driving elegant car, wearing beautiful dress, and have a nice, stylo house. I can take my mother wherever she wants and fulfill any dream she has. Money is not everything so I will make sure not to become arrogance and forget my responsibility to my people and of course to ALLAH

Ramadhan kembali

Ramadhan kembali lagi..membawa sejuta rahmatNYA..
Apakah Ramadhan ku seperti Ramadhan terdahulu..sia2 malah menambh dosa??
atau mungkin dapat ku membawa erti baru dalam sejarah hidupku..
Adakah aku dapat mencari keampunanNYA atas timbunan dosa2 ku terdahulu??
ALLAH Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.
Tapi bisakah ampunku diterima andai aku masih hanyut..
masih lalai walau seribu kali kucuba berubah..
Segagah mungkin kulawan nafsu dan bisikan halus dr hati..
Sekuat mungkin kutaqwa kan diriku..
Tapi mengapa sehingga kini, imanku masih goyah..
Berubah seperti pasir pantai..
TanpaMU TUHANKU, siapalah aku..
jasad ini, nafas ini, hati ini, semua milikMU..
Sungguh tiada satu pun milikku..
Tapi mengapa diri ini tidak bersyukur, tidak menghargai pemberianMU??
Sebaliknya aku terus merintih menangisi dugaan yang kau beri..
Sehingga kini aku mencari erti hidupku..
bukankah sudah jelas di dalam KitabMU..
Hidupku adalah mencari keredhaanMU..
Terus sujud kepadaMU..
Sepanjang langkahku, kau taburkan keindahan dan kasihMU..
Namun apa yang kuberi, hanyalah racun..
Yang akhirnya memakan diriku, tanpa sedikitpun KAU terusik..
AMPUNKAN AKU YA ALLAH........

Mantera Beradu

ManTera BeraDu by MAlique ft M.NasIr

Gerakkan Hati... Hati gerakkan...
Pandanglah aku.. aku lah dia..

kulitku tebal.. ku kebal.. ingatku kebal..
hanya berbual makan angin kembung perut mual...
resah dan tidak senang.. hidup tak pernah lenang..
ku schizo paranoia takut pecah tembelang

pecah tembelang... peta dah hilang...
bangau dah pulang... suara sumbang..

lidahku kaku tak selicin kuku
teman baikku buku
bini ku pena.. tak pernah lena
aku suka mengintai pantang ditenung
berakhir pertelingkahan dalaman
pasti belum

ikut gerak hati.. pena melayang
dilihat dua layang pandang
tak lah sekarang
takat meradang
tanya.. abang gedang, apa barang?
badan macam badang
main macam belakang parang

kuhunuskan keris musuh ada pistol
tradisi kekalkan adaptasi harus betul
tujuh baris keramat tujuh garis penamat
baik berpada biar jahat asal selamat

ramai saudaraku yang baik telah dipijak

awan mendung yang berarak
bawa tangis bawa resah
rebah rindu yang terkumpul
semua birat dan kalimah
semua janji yang terikat
lebur disisimu

yo ijazah terbaik datangnya dari jalanan
dari pengalaman bercakap dan bersalaman
konflik motivasi cuba medatasi
positif dan benci jadi inspirasi pagi

peduli itu interpretasi basi pekakkan sebelah
halang biar keduanya muka cantik
soalan bodoh yang ditanya jadi melodinya
lebih hina dari zina

lu bikin dosa ku bikin prosa
testosterone testarosa
citacita sosa kl kl kosa nostra
jalan berliku ku harung roller coaster
gah sentosa tiada penyesalan
luas pandangan jauh dah berjalan
tak sempurna masih ada kejanggalan
gagal merancang, merancang kegagalan

kucing bawa tidur rimau bawa igau
masuk tempat orang bawa otak bukan pisau

naik bukit angkuh cakap ayah jangan risau
turun bukit pucat dengar tiga miaww
kucing bawa tidur rimau bawa igau
masuk tempat orang bawa otak bukan pisau
tolak pintu gua tiga kerat tenaga
kosong tak dijaga sampai datang tiga naga
ingat nak berlaga tapi tak kan boleh menang
menang dengan otak tak mesti dengan pedang

sebelum jadi bangkai ikan koi renang renang
pura pura salah jawapan untuk naik berang
panggil lima kawan atau biar pergi laju
risaukan pekara remeh kita tak akan maju
muka sama hijau hati siapa tahu
merah dah menyala pasti mati siapa mahu
gagap tiga kali bercakap benar saja
bulan terang ramai yang keluar buat kerja

panjat pokok buluh cari tukun air terjun
naik sampai nampak dah terpegun turun
tiga ular ikut lompat atau paut
kalau lari mati jika jerut maut

puisi hati mu... hati mu puisi
palu hati ku palu hatiku

kulit tak besalin walau saling ganti baju
pandang sini pandang sini
ku berbahasa baku kata kata nahu
himpun jadi satu
mantera beradu dengan irama dan lagu

**I wondered what is the meaning of this song??hmmmm